Travis's POV
We all just stumbled into our separate hotel rooms after coming home from the bar. It was the last show of the eras tour and we wanted to celebrate as a band.
I climb into bed and grab my book. I search for my glasses and once I find them in my bag I put them on. I was the only one who didn't drink much as I was the designated driver.
I begin reading my book while sitting on my bed. I hear a knock on my door, that's strange.. who's bothering me at midnight?
I get up and walk over to the door. I swing it open and see the little blonde girl standing in front of me.
"Taylor.." I say. I've been trying to stay away from her. We've always been a little more than friends. Friends don't love the way we do. We've never kissed or even touched each other intimately but I am completely in love with her. It's not right though. It's not the time or place for us to be together.
"Travis please." She says in a volume where I can barely hear her. I see tears well in her eyes but I keep my mouth shut. "I need you." She says while sobbing.
I cave and grab onto her hips. She flings her arms around my neck and falls into me. "I- just- want- you-" she says in between gut wrenching cry's.
All I want to do right now is pick her up and bring her to my bed. I want to hold her close and tell her everything's gonna be okay. But I can't. I don't even know if it's going to be okay. I'm not okay because I'm only me when I'm with her. She knows it, I know it.
"Tay come on babygirl." I say trying to hold back my own feelings. I stroke her hair as her breathing begins to even out and she stops sobbing.
"Can we go over this one more time?" She asks while pulling away. I nod and she walks backward until she's against the wall, she slides down and pulls her knees to her chest.
I move to the side and sit across from her. The hallway is pretty tight so my feet are planted next to the outside of her thighs.
"Tay we're no good together." I say.
"You don't know if we don't try." She says while sniffling.
"Baby I won't be enough for you, I won't be there for you when you need me." I say.
"You're already here. You're already enough." She sad smiles before dropping it.
"Please." She whispers with her head hung low between her legs.
"You're all I ever wanted Travis." She says.
I don't know if she's trying to convince me or herself.
"Taylor I love you. I love you in a way that you make my heart flutter whenever you look or point at me on stage, I love you in a way where your voice soothes me when I'm overwhelmed. I love you in a way where you saved me when I felt like I was drowning." I say and grab both of her hands.
"Then why can't you be with me."
I take a pause, really thinking about her words. Because I do want to be with her. She's the woman I want to wake up with every morning, she's the woman I want to hold when I'm sad, she's the woman I want to carry my children. But I can't do this to her.
"I don't know Tay. We're not even dating and I'm hurting you, every time we have this talk, you leave worse than you came. I'm no good for you."
She starts crying again. Every tear that falls from her eyes, rips a string in my heart.
We have burning chemistry. Everyone in the band sees it. All of Taylor's backup dancers and vocalists see it. Her parents see it. I see it.
"I want you Tay. I want you like I've never wanted anything ever before. But I can't have you." I say.
She finally meets her eyes with mine and the first thing I do is pull her into my lap. She cries into my neck and I pick up her and bring her into my room.
I lay her down on my bed and get in on the other side. She needs to sleep. She tends to always overwork herself. I can tell by her behaviors that she's sleep deprived. She gets really honest when she's tired.
I keep my distance when getting comfortable but when I look over at her and see her bright blue eyes looking at me like I've disappointed her. I crawl into her arms. I rest my head on her chest and wrap my arms around her.
"I'm sorry for stringing you along. I never wanted to hurt you and that's why I never did anything but I know it's hurting you more." I say as silent tears fall from my eyes.
"I'll wait Travis." She says.
"What?"
"I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you to be ready for me, I'll wait a lifetime if it means i get the slightest chance to be with you someday." She says softly while rubbing my back.
"I'll wait for you too."
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