Baby Boom || Liam Payne <Complete>

Chapter 45: What Have I Done

Liams POV

"Zayn, that wasnt a smart idea." Niall whispers. 

It's about 11pm and everyone else is asleep from what I know, apart from Niall and myself. Sighing, I try my best to scoot as far away from Sophia as I can without falling out of my bunk or waking her. Ever since that damned night, I've been all alone. Sophia is just...fake honestly. There's no other way to put it. She always bats her eyelashes over dramatically like somethings in it and her sickly sweet voice is disgusting. The boys won't look at me. Not even a glance... on stage, they still ignore me. I'll try to crack a joke their way and still, they jump into another conversation or act like they heard nothing. 

"It's been a month, and you've already done it, haven't you? Do you know what this means, Zen? Do you?" He hushed, pressuring Zayn. 

"It's been hell with her around. It's like it's become our responsibility to feed her, clothe her, and do all her shit. I don't know why we haven't kicked her out yet along with the scum back there who did this in the first place." It's quiet again, and immediately the hole I've sunk into becomes deeper, and further am I drowned among my demons.

I once heard that we all carry these things inside, that no one else can see. They hold us down like anchors, they drown us out at see. And it's true. It's where I am right now. Drowning out at see because of everything I've done. Everything everyone thinks I've done to intentionally hurt them. But I desperately want to drop on my knees in front of them, and beg, and say love me again. It's like singing isn't my career anymore and I'm nothing. I just want to plea I'm only human, and even though I've made mistakes I know I'm good for something. I just haven't found it yet. And all I want is a second chance. 

At this point, I'm crying. Full on silently sobbing. I'm not ready to be a father yet.  I'm not ready to take fill responsibility for another life. With Jakob, it was a whole other story. I had Jessica to help me... Sophie's going to deliver my child and be done with it. And I can't... I can't just leave it there. It's mine. And during all this, as Niall still complains about me living and my thoughts about my unborn child, I'm screaming one thing inside. 

I'm screaming what have I done? What have I caused? Why am I such a fool? I had it, and I let my kingdom fall right in front of my face. And it was a domino effect. Because it hit every single neighboring kingdom I held dearly. Captive by love, and now destroyed with mistakes. But unforgiving by who It affected. 

"Well did you use protection, dumb ass?" Niall makes a hearty joke and all I'm doing is hoping Zayn and him aren't talking about my girl. If Zayn... actually did it with her only 5 months since the last I've claimed her myself, and 2 since the last I saw her. 

Niall chokes. "Are you stupid?! It was in the moment my ass, Malik! You mightve just created another problem!"

Please don't be Jess...

"Zayn I don't give a damn if she's on the pill, they're not 100% accurate."

The pill?.... Jessie was on birth control. Is that what they mean? Are they talking about her?

"You should've been more responsible," Niall sighs, now stressed. "I hope you just didn't get our best friend pregnant."

I couldn't take it anymore. A whimper escapes my mouth. Never have I felt more alone than I did now. Finally, I've been broken. And it's all thanks to my "best friend" who's fucked the love of my life and possibly knocked her up. 

Jealous would be an understatement. And it's because she's my whole world... but right now, my world is in his hands. 

And now, I'm officially left with nothing.