The Fallen Angel

Chapter 4

After the first kiss, there were others and I felt a secret hanging in the air around us.
We were both tied to others but we had let ourselves be dragged by an irresistible force.
While the forbidden taste lingered on our lips, my future vibrated with uncertainty,
because I didn't know what that kiss stolen from another meant to you.
I returned home with mixed feelings, I didn't have a clear mood.
I still felt the sparkling emotion of having felt your lips, but a sad feeling hovered in my bedroom.
Right there where I spent my days hugging Gabriel, now I was thinking of you.
After those sweet and unworthy kisses you left me alone again.

Of course I had people close to me, but this crowd around me seemed like a distant echo. The confusion only fueled the sense of emptiness that was in me, that you left in me.
I often saw you in dreams even if you don't know this, or maybe you do.
I dreamed of you dressed in white, a break from your intense black look.
You looked me straight in the eyes and as I came to you to hug you you disappeared.
I woke up with a frightening gloom and I couldn't explain why you had abandoned me.
I wondered how you were and hoped with tears in my heart that you were okay.
Time passed and I had no news about you, I didn't even know who to write to... where did you go when you disappeared, I wonder this.
Sometimes I thought that I knew so little about you that your absence shouldn't have mattered so much to me.

Over time the seasons also passed, and white snow fell from the sky.
The cold outside perfectly reflected the cold inside me, I needed your warmth. I needed to be warmed by the sparks of your damned soul, I needed to go back there, where fire and flames burn endlessly. I needed you.
One evening I was looking at the moon and, while tiny snowflakes slowly fell from the sky, and that combination of natural beauty seemed to lull me, I hoped and perhaps prayed that I could see you one last time.
Yes, the last one, because I wouldn't have accepted being left alone by you again.
I prayed with tears in my eyes and a vigorous anger and perhaps it was due to the energy emanating from me that the next day I saw you again in the white winter background.
I couldn't help but notice the contrast of your black hair with the white around you again.
How did you find my house?
I didn't think about this immediately but I thought about letting you in before anyone could see you.
<<but what are you doing here?>> I asked you, breathless from running up the stairs and the emotion of having you close to me again.
<<I heard you>> you said <<don't hide it, I heard you calling me last night, I heard you in a dream>>
You slept with me and lying in bed, I finally felt the warmth that nothing and no one could have caused me.
I burst into tears and asked you without even thinking <<but do you still love me?>>.
I immediately thought I had used that word, I realized it, and I realized I had never heard you say it, so how could I say "again"?
You grabbed me by the little waist and held me tight and said <<I never stopped>>.
For a moment I could breathe again, until you said <<but we only hurt, me to you, me to her, you to him>>.
I couldn't breathe, I saw darkness for a moment, until I saw your face on mine once again.