Was It Always Us? | COMPLETED ✔

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚂𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚜

Side Note: This is yet again Lily's POV (Sorry for the inconsistency) because the event happening here relates to her.

***

"Are you excited to meet your Daddy, Emmy?" I ask as I shut off the engine after parking the car. It was Ryle's turn this time to take Emerson and he'd asked me to meet him at this restaurant because he wanted to discuss something 'important' with me. I obliged. 

Pushing open the door and stepping inside, I spotted Ryle sitting in a booth and made my way over to him. He perked up when he saw me and scooted away to make space for Emerson. I sat opposite him and waited for him to begin with whatever he wanted to say. 

"I'm dating someone." he said bluntly after greeting me and I could only gape in shock. Ryle? Dating? What?

"I wanted you to know as I don't want it to become a problem. She might be in front of Emerson long, so--"

"Who is she?"

"You can ask her yourself when you meet her."

"Is she here?"

"No, but you're obviously going to--"

"Why, Ryle?" I asked, suddenly. I don't know why, but I felt nauseous. Was I jealous? I mean, I shouldn't be. Ryle was going to eventually move on. Why am I so concerned about that? 

"What do you mean by that?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows. I noticed how he ran his hands through his hair every now and then, and that was a habit of his when he was agitated. 

"Nothing. But she won't be around Emmy until I meet her." I said, making firm boundaries. I was not going to allow my child to interact with just anyone on her visits to her dad. But this tiny part of mine knew that I was a bit hurt by whatever this was. It wasn't that I expected him to not move on and, I don't know, pine in my love forever. But I didn't expect it to happen so quickly. Because in this deep, secluded corner of my heart, I had loved him. 

And just at that moment, the song playing on the speakers shifted to something else.

Shooting stars never fly for me,

My heart's on Mars, kinda hard to see,

But you know, you know I'll see you again,

You know, you know, I'll see you again.

I took in a sharp breath and my hands started shaking. Getting up abruptly, I kissed Emmy on the cheek, said goodbye and got out without a glance back. Tremors ran down my spine and I didn't seem to know what to do anymore. What was happening to me?

Getting in the car, I began to drive away, and barely saw, out of the corner of my eye, that Ryle had picked up Emerson and was looking at me concerned as he raised his hand in goodbye. I should not let his relationships affect me. But they were, and I feared I was being dishonest. To my marriage. To Atlas. To myself. I turned up the radio and played the song I'd heard on the speakers back at the restaurant.

Feel it in the sunrise,

Even in the nighttime,

It's hard to adjust now,

'Cause you ain't around,

Do they treat you real nice?

How'd you like the new town?

Hard to adjust now,

'Cause you ain't around, yeah.

Humming the lyrics, I made my way back home, not noticing the tear that skated down my cheek.

He'd moved on.

Why should I care?

I felt like I wasn't sad because he'd found someone new. Maybe I was sad simply because I missed those moments of utter happiness and contentment I experienced with him. He was a bastard, yes. And I sort of hated him. But that didn't mean I could just erase the commitments I'd made with him. Sometimes, the people who love you the most are also the people who hurt you the most. And Ryle was one such person to me. We were so good together. But this relationship we had, it wasn't healthy. I needed to accept that. So, as I drove through the street, turning up the volume of the song, I allowed myself to mourn for him and what we were.

That didn't mean I, in any way, would want us to get back together, or be something. It just meant that he had a big imprint on my life. Most of it was bad, and I would never, ever, forgive him for what he did to me, but in a way, he was also a broken man who'd seen his own brother's brain spill out after he shot him. 

So, no, Ryle wasn't good. At all.

But he wasn't exactly bad either.

There's no such thing as bad people. We're all just people who sometimes do bad things.

***

"Hey, is everything fine?" Alyssa asked as I plopped down on the couch and smiled weakly. I was sure the stains from the tears were still there, and that my eyes were bloodshot too. 

"Yeah. Can I ask you something?" 

"Sure, what's up?"

"Did you know Ryle had a girlfriend?" I openly asked. I didn't want there to be any sort of misunderstandings between me and Alyssa. She was my best friend. But she was also Ryle's sister, so if she hid that from me, I would understand it. Although, I hoped she'd been honest with me. Her hesitation didn't make it seem like that at all.

"Not exactly..." she trailed off and I merely raised an eyebrow.

"Well, he'd been hinting about it, and I was meaning to talk to you, but he never confirmed anything when I asked, so I didn't know whether to tell you, and--"

"I don't need explanations from you, Alyssa. It was just a bit shocking."

"I get you. Even I haven't met his girlfriend yet. And that's something, 'cause Ryle and I were always close. He didn't even say anything to Marshall."

"He's been a bit detached, hasn't he?"

I didn't hear her answer though, as my phone chimed and I took it out to see a few texts from Ryle. Opening, them up, with my heart in my throat, I began reading.

Ryle: Lily, you went off really quickly. Is everything okay?
Ryle: If it's about my girlfriend, I really won't bring her near Emmy until you approve.
Ryle: If you want to talk to her on your own, I can send you her number.
Ryle: Her name's Amy. Amy Fowler.

Why did I feel like I'd heard that name before?

***

How'd you like the surprise *evil author laugh*? We're gonna be seeing a lot more of Amy. Tbh, I just came up with this and had no idea we would take this direction. But we did, and I am so happy right now. 

Don't forget to upvote and comment!

The song here is 'When Will I See You Again' by Shakka. It's one of my very favourites, and I properly heard it in a Remus Lupin and Harry Potter edit (describing their moments and his death, not shipping them).