The only dresses I own are my school uniform and the sparkly yellow one my mother gave me before she died. I always feel bad for not wearing it, but it makes me want to pull the skeleton right out of my body. It just doesn't sit right on my hips. Sometimes I feel like ripping it to shreds, but I stop myself when I remember her.
My mother was beautiful, like a field of golden flowers or a shimmering lake. On the contrary, I looked like a dumpster fire or a fairy princess gone emo. Since I turned 12, I knew I would be nothing like her. In fact, I knew I wouldn't be like any mother at all. I think my dad and my brothers knew as well.
I adored how my mother dressed with sparkles and walked with flair that never got passed down to me. She always loved to dress me up in feminine clothes. I tried to smile through it. I really did. But the dysphoria made me sick, sparking arguments between me and her. I wish I had told her how much I admired the way she dressed and how she walked with flair before she died. If I'm gonna be honest, I wish I were cis. Not a cis boy, but a girl. Because maybe life would be a bit easier.
I was a horrible daughter. Now I just have to try to be a better son...
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My twin brother, Tommy, reminds me of a raccoon. Hyper, feral, and often looks like he's just rolled around in mud. We're not identical twins, of course, and we're different in too many ways to count. For example, Minecraft. Tommy's objective is to kill every fucking thing he can see within a 100 block radius. Meanwhile, I'll be somewhere in a flower forest making a cottage for me and my bees. See? Different.
Another thing Tommy does is that he always finds a way to be the center of attention. He's that kid in school. You know which one I'm talking about. The so-called 'class clown', who honestly isn't even that funny, but whom people still laugh at because they don't have the guts to make better jokes themselves. I'm the person he tells the jokes to first to make sure that they're good enough to tell other people. Sometimes they're funny but I can't keep listening to dick and ball jokes. Honestly, Tommy is fucking annoying. But he's my brother (and sadly my best friend) and he always looks out for and stands up for me. Especially against the transphobes.
Technoblade, or Techno for short, is our eldest brother. Thankfully, he's a lot calmer than Tommy and has more intelligence than all of mine and Tommy's combined. That's not really that surprising though. He's a bit sadistic, loves anything to do with medieval killing methods, and Greek mythology. Techno actually scares me a bit. Whenever you're in a room with Techno, there's a constant fear that he's planning on how to hang you from the ceiling, or worse, he's judging you. He has an incredible side eye. Other than that, he's a good person, gets good grades in school, and will often give me and Tommy life advice on account that he's 3 years older than us. I'm not close to him as I used to be. I used to hide in his room for hours whenever Tommy was on a sugar high, but now he hides in there by himself.
We live with our dad, Phil, who's always stressed about us. By us I mean Tommy. Parenting Tommy sounds like a nightmare, but Dad does an impressive job at it. He's not like those single dads that you see on television; the ones that go into a life of drinking and emptiness after their wives die. Dad works really hard to support us and is often very vulnerable and open with his feelings. The best we can do is try our best to help him out. I fit into all of the stereotypes of a 'fatherless' kid on the internet. But in my opinion, I think I have the best dad in the world. Take that, Instagram comments.
That brings me to myself. My name is T- No . My name is Tubbo. I like playing Minecraft with my brothers, watching cartoons, and taking care of animals. I love wearing my favorite flannel and my baggy hoodie that almost reaches my knees. I love bugs and insects, especially bees, and going to petting zoos.
I think you should know that I hate most people except for my family, and dresses. Especially dresses. To be honest, I hate a lot of things but those were the things that came to mind first. Alongside my brothers, I attend a high school in a sort of small town in the middle of who knows where. I'm friends with two people, the only two people I will ever need to be friends with. Tommy, who doesn't really count, and Aimsey, who is short-tempered.
I'm the kind of guy to wear his binder for too long and complain when he can't breathe anymore. I'm the kind of guy to stand at the side while others, like my brother, take the spotlight. Basically, I like to hide in the shadows. Bring as little attention to myself as possible.
But to him, I was everything. I was the stars, the moon, and the sea. I hate attention. But I always find myself looking for theirs. You know when you become familiar enough with a person that you can spot them in a room with thousands of people in it. That's what I had with them. Feeling safe was a rare feeling for me and I struggle to grasp onto it and hold it tight. He makes it easier to hold on to. Like a big helium balloon blowing in the wind that needs more than one set of hands to hold on to. They love me when I'm in a dress or not. And I love him too.
Who? Who?! Ranboo of course! I wish my mother could see me now. I could tell her all the things I'm about to tell you. The story of The Bee and The Boo...
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I wrote this pretty late so just ignore any mistakes. Please leave comments cause they always make me really happy (or regretful) Updates will be as irregular as my sleeping patterns. Ok have a GREAT DAY wherever you are and have some water <3
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you spin me right round // BEEDUO
FanfictionI hate attention. But I always find myself looking for theirs... cover: https://pin.it/5YnTTNNp7