[ this story will contain: abuse, self harming, mentions of abortion, mentions of drugs, mentions of sa and 🍇 and smut. If you're not comfortable with these then please don't read this story, there's plenty of other very amazing fanfics out there �...
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You held your fathers hand as you walked side by side with him "Papa, why are you struggling to walk?" You asked him and he chuckled, "I'm getting old my dear. Papa is obviously gonna struggle to walk"
"But papa, you're only twenty-eight"
Nagi had finished talking to your dad, and you did too. So you took this as the time to tell nagi "My father..he had bone cancer. That's how he died" you announced Nagi stayed silent, listening to you speak
"He was the best father anyone could ever ask for, he fed me, he raised me took care of me- he showed me everything about painting. He introduced me into my way of escaping reality; art. He supported me through everything I wanted to do, he told me what was right, what was wrong. But, my father.. he wasn't the nicest towards my mother"
Nagi soon realized where this was going, he noticed the tears in your eyes "you.. you don't need to tell me." You shook your head "I want to tell you, it's okay"
"To put it simply, my father would abuse my mother- yet he was so kind to me, so gentle and patient. Because I was just like him, because I took nothing, absolutely nothing from my mother"
"But my father, he didn't always hate my mother... he loved my mother oh so dearly- he would do anything for her it's just.." your lips trembled and you felt the imaginary wires wrap around your throat "I- I.. I was never even supposed to be born. My mother, she never wanted me. She tried to get an abortion without my father knowing because he did want me. But when she tried to get an abortion the doctors said I was too developed and if they tried to abort me then it would risk her life"
"My mother, she used to be a model. She used to be slim- beautiful.. but after she got pregnant, she took on some weight and started going through all of things mentally. She obviously didn't want to throw her model life away so she kept me, she told herself that after she gave birth- she'll just get surgery to remove the excess skin but"
"It wasn't only the weight problem, she had stretch marks, redness and darkening in some spots in her skin. So she couldn't model anymore, she wasn't pretty anymore. My father, he tried to support her through it, tried to be her pillar but she would yell at him- throw things at him and he was stuck raising me alone. Luckily, he had a stable job and was able to provide for all of us."
"He took on the responsibility of feeding me, of raising me and of taking care of me because my mother wouldn't. She hated me, despised me because I was the one who ruined her career. She was so young too, she could've had at least twenty years left of modeling for her. And that was all ruined because she gave birth to me."
"At one point, my father snapped. His love for her was slowly fading every single time he caught her trying to hit me or to hurt me- and when he snapped. He had no more love for her, he tried to bring her back to the young happy woman she once was... but she would've never went back to who she was before."
"My father, he would get so furious he would hit me as many times as she would hit me and- after my father's death. My mother was trying to cope with his death so she tried reminiscing the moments when he was still alive and well- when he would physically and verbally abuse her"
"She would smoke and use her arm as an ashtray, leaving burn marks on her skin. She would cut herself with razor blades. She was so traumatized of his abuse she started to genuinely believe it was him loving her- she was so used to it. So she tried to bring back that 'love' after his death"
You looked at the palm of your hands "and.." you showed nagi the scars on your hands "I would.. follow my mother. Because at the time, I thought that her way of coping was the right way. I would do what she does, I burnt myself with cigarettes, I would cut myself with the razor blades.."
"Seishiro, at one point. My mother couldn't support us financially anymore so we were staying at a homeless center but.."
"The school found out about you know.. and they made all the school payments free for me and my mother until she got better. So I really only had school left to keep me sane but even at school- I would get bullied because of my height and my different body and looks"
"I... don't know how I last until I became friends with kurina.i mean, I had rin because were cousins but.. he was never there like kurina is"
You chuckled dryly "I'm confident enough to say that kurina saved my life." "The reason why my mom got financially stable again was because of the therapy kurina's mom payed for her- I told Kurina about everything one day and she ended up telling her mother. Her mother contacted my mother and things just started getting better from there"
"I.. the reason why I'm so angry all the time is because. I'm just like my father seishiro, most of my childhood was just him being angry at my mother. And I guess I just absorb that like a sponge"
Your finger drummed against your knee "and I think.. the reason why I keep falling for the wrong people is because whenever I saw a boy treat a girl like my father did to my mother- i would think 'that's true love, i can like this guy because he loves like my dad' and I always and still do think... my dad is the best dad ever. Maybe not the best husband but.. you know what I mean"
You smile was bittersweet "you know what I found yesterday? I found my dad's camera, he used to record cute moments of me and him... there was only one video that worked"
You unlocked your phone and scrolled through your gallery, showing nagi the video
"Papa, look at my skirt. Am I pretty princess?" You asked your father with a big smile Your father chuckled "you are the prettiest princess." He took you in his arms and placed you on his lap
The camera faced you and what he was painting "look at what I'm painting baby, I'm painting what I think you're gonna look like when you're older" you looked at the painting "I look like a big girl papa!" "Yes you do, I'm imagining you as around seventeen in here!" He said with a smile
"Do you think I found my Prince Charming at that age papa?" Your father hummed "Well, teenage boys are really really immature. Most of them are bad people!" He said and you stuck out your tongue "eww bad people!"
"But you know what baby?" "What?" "I really do hope you find your Prince Charming at that age"
You rewind to where he shows the full painting, "you think his prediction was accurate seishiro?" The painting was one of a teenage girl with shoulder length h/c hair. She had a sweet smile on her face, her e/c eyes looked like galaxies. She looked beautiful
"Not the hair, but everything else. Yeah"
Nagi didn't seem to look at you differently, you laughed a little "so did your opinion on me change?.." you trailed off when you were pulled into a warm embrace
Nagi held you tightly against his body, he had an arm around your waist and the other hand was on the back of your head. Pushing it against his broad chest
Your hands trembled as they tightly gripped on the back of his shirt "Seishiro I- I really miss my dad...I really really miss him. But I wish my parents broke up instead of staying together. That sounds so wrong but... I don't think they were meant for each other after all" you said, voice slightly muffled by the hoodie he wore
"You are the kindest woman I've ever met, y/n. That never changed"
