"Hey!" greeted Shivaay as he slipped between the covers and gave Mallika a quick kiss on her forehead.
Both of them were currently in London. Shivaay had to attend a Business Conference and Mallika had accompanied him thinking that they would get to spend a little alone time with each other. Unfortunately, the trip had turned out differently. Shivaay had remained swarmed by work. Usually, Mallika loved to roam around the city and shop. But this time around, she had stayed holed in the hotel room waiting for Shivaay to return.
"How was your day?" asked Mallika as she held his hand.
Shivaay rested his head on the headboard and just shrugged. "Usual."
"Mine was good..." Mallika told him.
"Yeah?" he asked distractedly as he scrolled through his phone.
Mallika sighed. Away from her home and work, she had ample time to introspect. She and Shivaay were the perfect couple on paper. Yet, she couldn't just shake off the nagging feeling from the back of her head. Shivaay just didn't seem to be in love with her. In fact, she was realizing it only now. He had never been in love with her. All the infatuation, the need to keep their relationship alive, everything came from her side. Shivaay was just a passive partner. And whilst it was great till now, she didn't know if they could go on like that. She had thought a lot about it and consequently had taken a tough decision.
"I read a story today..." she mumbled.
Shivaay threw her a small glance and quickly went to the mobile screen. "What kind of story?"
"Story of a farmer who has only one son. The son meets with an accident and his leg is amputated..." said Mallika and this time around, Shivaay paused to look at her.
"Everyone tells the farmer that it is their bad luck. They sympathize with him. After that, their country goes to war and every young man is asked to join the army. Since the farmer's son is disabled, they don't take him. Almost all men die. But the farmer's son survives because of the said bad luck. So the point is, whatever happens, happens for the best. You never know what might lead to what..." she trailed off.
Shivaay nodded slightly. "Yeah."
Mallika smiled and rubbed Shivaay's arm. "Like, if I hadn't fallen for you...if we hadn't dated, I would have never come to know what I actually wanted. So it is for the best that we dated."
That finally got Shivaay's attention. He kept his mobile away, sat up in the bed, and stared at Mallika. Narrowing his eyes, he asked, "Where are you going with this?"
Mallika straightened up. Her gaze fell down to her hands and the twisted comforter between them. She tried to keep her voice neutral and took a deep breath. "I have been thinking a lot, Shivaay."
"About what?" he questioned fearing her answer.
She swallowed hard and intertwined her fingers with his. Mallika whispered, "Shivaay, I don't think we work as a couple anymore."
Shivaay stared at her, completely baffled by what he heard. He gasped, "What?"
"Yes..." said Mallika as her dark eyes bore into his.
"Are you...what? What are you saying?" he fumbled with his words. He tightened his hold on her fingers and scooted close to her. "I don't understand this. What's happening?"
Mallika tried to remain calm. She bit on her lower lip and tried to explain her decision to him. "We are very different people."
"How?" shrieked Shivaay. Pointing at both of them, he cried out, "You are I, we both are well educated. We belong to good families. We have been doing well career-wise. And we like each other. Don't we? Don't you like me?"
"I do. A lot!" she insisted truthfully. "But I think, we should stop here. Before we go any further and hurt ourselves more."
"What hurt are you talking about?" yelped Shivaay. His grip on her hands loosened and his body sagged as all the fight flowed out of his body. He stared at her with accusing eyes, "Mallika, our families are involved. Everyone loves you at home. They are thinking of getting us married."
"I know. My parents adore you as well. But that's not enough..." said Mallika in an adamant tone.
Mallika could tell that he was at the end of his patience. Shivaay let her hands go and yelled, "Then what is?"
She remained calm. Giving him a bitter smile, she started, "Where is the madness in our relationship, Shivaay? Love is supposed to be madness! I don't think you feel anything for me beyond friendship and genuine affection. There is no passion in our relationship...there is no desire. You don't have a maddening need to be with me. Relationships don't work like that. We can't be together just because it is convenient."
As he absorbed her tirade and tried to make sense of it, Shivaay remained quiet for a long time. When he looked up, his eyes looked beseeching. "I know I don't say this enough but I really do like you."
"As do I, Shivaay. You are the first man I truly loved..." Mallika cupped his face and rubbed her palms on his beard. "But I am intelligent enough to see that we won't last long. Sooner or later, we both will get bored of each other. And that will be tragic."
He buried his face in his palms. Whispering to himself, he muttered, "Why are you doing this, Mallika? What went wrong? Where did I lack?"
She pulled Shivaay closer to herself. "It's difficult to explain without offending you. Let's just say that you like the colour black, I like the colour orange. We both aren't wrong. But you will always want black and I will eventually hate it. So it's better to find someone who likes black."
Shivaay gaped at her with a frown. "You don't any sense right now."
Mallika laughed lightly and pushed him on the bed. "I have a flight back to Mumbai tomorrow. Come, let's sleep. I know you had a long day too."
Shivaay fell back on the pillow and turned towards her. Mallika lay down beside him and placed a hand on his face. He sighed and whispered, "Are you really breaking up with me?"
For the first time in many months, Mallika saw some emotions in his eyes. He looked small at that moment like he had folded into himself and her heart ached sadly. She hadn't lied to him. He truly was her first love. He was everything that she had wished for in a lover and a life partner. Sadly, Mallika knew that Shivaay didn't feel the same way for her. Perhaps, he was going to be devastated now. He even looked like it. But in the long run, this was going to be the best decision for both of them. She had to keep her resolve strong.
"I am sorry..." she said softly, her eyes brimming with tears. "I am so sorry."
"Please..." Shivaay mumbled and closed his eyes. "Please. Stay."
"I can't," replied Mallika as the tears finally flowed out of her eyes. "I can't."
She moved closer to him and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. "You know, you are going to meet someone more special than me. Trust me, Shivaay. You will bump into her in the unlikeliest of places."
Shivaay pleaded, "Please."
"No, listen to me!" Mallika grabbed his face and forced him to look into her eyes. "She will come into your life like a storm and she will do what I couldn't do.
Mallika caressed his chest lightly and said, "She will take down all the walls around your heart, brick by brick. And you will love her with everything you have."
"If it ever happens..." Shivaay said hopelessly.
"It will!" beamed Mallika. "You deserve only the best. And sadly, that's not me. I will forever regret it. But it's life. Shit happens."
"Shit happens..." Shivaay repeated in a small voice. "Like today."
Mallika smiled. "One day, you will thank me for doing this. Because you are going to meet someone so beautiful, so amazing that life will seem like a dream."
"You and I, what we had..." he rasped. "...this is like a dream too, Mallika."
Mallika held his face and brought it down a little. She placed a lingering kiss on his forehead and then on his beautiful but sad eyes. "Then she will turn your life into a fairytale. I promise!"
