author pov
ever since arabella was young she had never been happy. she had a mom that was mental and a dad that couldn't be in her life that much because of her mom. she had 4 siblings and she was the middle child. due to a lot of reasons, her sister, kayla and one of her older brothers, jake, didn't live with her. her other two siblings, leon, her other older brother lived with her, and her little brother james, didn't. and the reason for this was because kayla, jake, and james had the same father as her but no the same mother. and for leon that was reversed.
a reason why arabella was never happy was because she was abused verbally and mentally. her mom made her believe that she wasn't pretty.
"your too dark"
"too chubby"
"your nose isn't small enough"
but the funny part about this was, arabella looked exactly like her mother. so if arabella wasn't pretty, then her mother wasn't either. her mother was very manipulative too. and that really effected arabella's mental health. she always believed when someone was upset, it was her fault.
ever since arabella was young, she was suicidal. her first attempt was when she was 7, she tried hanging herself with a belt but then got scared and gave up. and then she had tried to end her life 2 more times when she was 10, but again, got too scared. so she had just came to the conclusion that she couldn't escape her shitty life. so the only way she could hurt herself was by cutting her self. obviously, since she was young, she had no access to blades, so she would use a knife. she kept doing that until she was 12. she then tried to quit, in hopes that she could get better.
but she never got better. she was constantly made fun of for her size and her skin tone. but she tried not to relapse. but when she was 13, everything went downhill. she relapsed, started to starve herself, and shit like that. at some point she thought that she could never be happy. and that was how her mentality was for a long time.
arabella was insecure at a young age. mainly because of her mother, but it was also kids at school. she had always been chubby and had a big nose. and it didn't help that she was always compared to her sister. her sister was perfect. thin, light skin, small nose, and overall just gorgeous. but arabella was never that. she would often cry herself to sleep because she would never be like her sister. she soon accepted the fact that she would never be pretty.
arabella loved art. she loved to draw and paint. it was comforting to her. and she was good at it. most drawings she made were of how she wished she could look like. a small waist, small nose, slim face, and just pretty. something she could never be. she loved to paint nature like things. mainly the sky. she found it fascinating.
518 words^^
A/N: i hope you enjoy the book so far! i'm not really good at writing so please give tips!
