I'm trapped in a world of darkness. I've been here for years, struggling to escape. Each time I get so much as close to getting out I slip back to where I began. It's not fair. I can't live like this. I look down to my wrists and sigh. They're coated in cuts from where I bleed just to know I'm still alive. The pain shows I'm still human. Each slit has a story. Verbal abuse mostly. Fat, ugly, worthless, emo, gay. I've heard them all. They're thrown at me constantly like rocks. ''Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me''. What a load of lies that is. Words are like knifes, they leave scars. Scars that are planted in your mind forever. You carry them with you every day. And for most people they're too heavy to carry. So they give up. And it's all that I want to do but I've never had the time to do it. But I'll do it soon, no one will notice. Now that I think about it, maybe the names people call me are true? I mean really. Every time I look in the mirror I see fat thighs that jiggle too much, my eyes are too blue. My hair is too dark. My stomach is huge. And I'm wayyyy too short. I'm 5ft4. No one likes short girls... Every single time I look down to my shins I see bruise after bruise. Some are from when people have thrown rocks at me after they found I was gay. They caught me holding hands with my last girlfriend Alex. We were happy together, she supported me through everything. But after a few weeks it all crumbled. People began to yell abuse to us, then the abuse turned to punches and kicks. She couldn't take it anymore. She was too scared to be seen with me. So she left me. Left me there to suffer. I had never felt so alone. I thought she loved me. And just as I thought things couldn't get any worse, my dad passed away in a car accident. It felt like he was the only one who cared about me. The he had to go. This effected my mum. She got into alcohol and smoked a lot. Then she began to act... different... She got more aggressive. She took her anger out on me. I constantly have scars across my face, black eyes and busted lips. She's put me into hospital 6 times in the past year. My skull has been cracked open 4 times and my fingers have been close to breaking twice. I hate everything about my life. I just want it to end. It's not like anyone would miss me. I should just go. I don't fit in. There's no reason for me to stay, I'm a waste of breath. Good bye everyone.... not like you care....
A/N My other story got deleted for some reason, but I re-wrote it and I think this one is much better:) I hope you enjoyed it:D I'll update as soon as possible. Bubai my little marshmallows x
