in my reality...

Prologue

I think it's scary how time passes. Every tick of the clock which symbolizes each passing second scares me. It's also scary how sometimes I don't realize how scary each passing second is.

I love reading books as it is my way of escaping reality in this daunting world. However, unlike in the books, this is real life, and I cannot control life based on how I imagine the world to be. How I wanted my world to be.

My world in fiction would look a lot like living in a spacious home with supportive parents and a huge yard full of grass and flowers where my cats and dogs run and play located in the suburbs.

However, my world in real life is the complete opposite of my world in fiction. I live in the city, fancy as it may sound but living in the city in a developing country is not the best place to be in. Co-living with traffic and pollution. And how I wish to have pets such as cats and dogs. However, my parents are against them. According to them they are a huge work and a hella expensive to maintain. And even when I present myself to do all the taking care of the pets, I still can't due to them being allergic.

In my reality, I have to fight for what I want. My parents believe that with all the resources that they provide for me, I in return have to follow their wishes. Going against their wishes are a sign of disrespect for them, and since I was young I have tried my best to follow them. Whatever they say, I did. I used to believe that if I do, they will show affection to me and love me. But it has been 18 years and I have never felt the love. Though I am grateful for the things that they provide for me, I am not the materialistic type of person. I would rather have them present in my life.

It was against my parents wishes for me to study college in the country. It is the first time that I have disobeyed their wishes. It was scary and freeing at the same time because for the first time I am not acting like a puppet that they can just control however they want.

And right now I have to prove that I have made the right decision to stay. But I am not quite sure if it is right though. I am not sure if I chose the right path or am I just wasting my time in this path.