Hate You

one

"Why do you hate him so much?" Jungwon asks, looking into his best friend's eyes that held so much anger and discontent. It hurt him to see Sunoo in his current situation but what could he do, he's tried to be there for him when he needed a shoulder to lean on but nothing he does seems to help.

Sunoo looks down, unable to look into the worried filled expression, feeling guilty. He shouldn't have ranted, again, about Sunghoon and what he feels. It was unfair for Jungwon and Sunoo hated that he used his best friend as an object to let his feeling out on rather than enjoying their time together or even just listening to his issues.

"I'm sorry Jungwon," Sunoo says softly because he truly was, he told himself it'd be the last time he'd talk about Sunghoon but it seemed every time was the last.

"Its okay, just answer my question please, from what I remember -- you loved Sunghoon," Jungwon says, reaching over and grabbing Sunoo's hands and scooting closer to the other on the bench. He smiles to himself when he feels Sunoo lay his head on his shoulder.

"I did and I do and that's why I hate him so much because I don't hate him at all, rather -- I love him." After saying what he's been keeping deep down in his heart, he feels tears start streaming down his face. He feels Jungwon give him a reassuring squeeze and he's thankful that he stays quiet, waiting for Sunoo to continue because he knows there's more to be said.

"I want to hate him. Jungwon, I really do because it hurts. It hurts to keep loving someone when they've lost their love for you and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. I couldn't force him to stay with me, I couldn't guilt trip him into staying with me just because I still love him. I wish he had done something terrible, something that really made me hate him but he just fell out of love with me and I can't hate him for that. I really wish I could." Sunoo finally finishes, struggling to keep his tears from falling and completely losing it.

Sunoo is caught by surprise when his face is grabbed between Jungwons hands that were just holding his a few seconds ago, Jungwon has a serious expression on his face that he's never seen before and before he can speak Jungwon does first,

"Sunoo, he may not love you the way you love him anymore but I can assure you he still cares about you. I want you to know that even if if feels impossible right now, you will move on. One day you'll smile to yourself and we'll laugh about how you cried over Sunghoon and guess what? I'll still be there. I'll always be by you Sunoo, I don't know why I'm saying that but I just feel like you should know that I'll always be by your side through all your heart breaks and I'll never get tired of your rants so don't feel so guilty. I just wish there were more I could do to help you out of the hole you're in..." Jungwon finishes with a gasp and when he meets Sunoo eyes again, the other is crying but this time with a smile and he's met with a hug.

"I love you Jungwon. Thank you," Sunoo says quietly.

Jungwon smiles into Sunoo's shoulder, stroking his back, "I love you too Sunoo and don't thank me, just let me be by your side when you're in pain and be your shoulder."

They'd really get a kick out of this in the future and just that thought itself brought a smile to both their faces as they hugged.