Escapril 2024

Evolution of Me

Thunder rumbles my brain and shakes me sober,

But I was still too high to understand the answer.

Under this yellow dusk I tremble with grief

For my future end is coming one day,

but what if it came soon?

The death wish I signed at 17 is holding my signature

In tattooed ink, and now the permanence of my choice

Holds me down; the pain sears my muscles.

The trauma on my body is heavy,

Battle scars and off hand remarks addressed to my place

Pull my trigger, and

I shoot off

Fast

Like a bullet with your name engraved.

Then, I stop. Someone left the door open,

And it smells like Earth after rain,

A wash for my spirit, and

And a breath of humidity

Hydrating my bones.

Suddenly, I remember why I'm alone.

A change of state is the evolution of me.

I do not fear my blindness, or naivety,

In fact I could care less about what others say of my name.

Instead, I continue forward

Focused on what charges me

Because we are all wired differently and thirst for release.

Thank God for clouds, because without rain

Our brains would be left to shrivel in their empty fish bowls we call skulls.

This is a dying ecosystem, but it's for your own growth.

Welcome to life, where God planted you.

It won't be perfect, and you won't be the same after.

It will be painful, but worthwhile.