ZARA's P.O.V
Sunday...
When I woke up this morning, my mind was already filled with thoughts about Jermaine. Our night at Sip'Verage wasn't particularly eventful, but there was definitely a connection between us. It's so surreal to me that I can't quite describe it in words.
Dragging myself out of bed, I couldn't shake the feeling of excitement that churned in my stomach. Jermaine had sparked something inside of me, a fire I hadn't felt in a long time. Yet that excitement came with a hint of caution, knowing that if I lose focus, I might dive headfirst into something that could lead to trouble.
But besides the uncertainty of what could be about Jermaine and me, I felt a sense of hope and excitement. Maybe, just maybe, Jermaine could be the one to bring some light into my life.
I was impressed by how attentive he was when I confessed to him. He looked at me as if he could feel the weight of my words, as if he were walking in my shoes. This alone spoke volumes about how supportive of a man he is. For a moment, I felt cared for and vulnerable with him. I felt safe.
It was these qualities that drew me to him, besides his attractiveness. I mean, we've only met three times, kissed on two occasions occasions—Ava's birthday party and last night—and I admire how passionately he embraces me. I was surprised at how smoothly he kissed me to send my knees weak when I least expected it. He kisses as though he is getting paid to.
This is what happened last night. When we left the Sip'Verage last, I felt a mix of excitement building up inside me. I knew that the night was coming to an end, and I would soon have to say goodbye to him. However, as he walked me over to my car, he turned towards me and looked into my eyes with a glint of purpose that I couldn't quite pick up. Before I could react, he leaned in slowly, and his lips brushed against mine tenderly. It was a simple gesture, yet it stirred emotions within me, igniting a spark that lingered until I rested my head on the pillow. It was amazing.
With a yawn escaping my mouth, I made my way to my meditation corner in my bedroom, the dawn light sipping through the cracks of the curtains, painting a soft golden glow over my room. Sitting down crossed-legged, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, intending to start my day with mental clarity and calmness.
But my mind kept wandering back to Jermaine, causing me to smile even though I knew I should be serious. I couldn't help but wonder what his intentions were, and whether I was ready to let someone into my life.
I mean, I recently quit my job intending to launch a series of media projects that highlight a dark-skin black woman as a central focus of the beauty media. However, I haven't yet worked out my plans and ideas on how to do this, and adding someone into the midst of all the chaos is a concern for me at the moment.
As I meditated I tried to clear away the chaos of my thoughts by focusing on the present moment, but the worries of my confession to Jermaine crept in after a short while. While I confessed the challenges I came across with my aunt's addiction to him, I couldn't help but feel the heaviness brought by the absence of my cousin, Eve.
I haven't seen her in years and it bothers me that my last memory of her was when she left the house after a heated argument with her mother. That was when she left the house and never came back. I keep wondering where she is now and if she's doing well. As far as I know, she relocated to the western tip of the country, God knows what she is doing there. We are now situated on opposite coasts, a huge distance apart.
I pushed the thoughts away and focused on being in touch with a deeper awareness of myself to gain that inner peace. With each breath, I felt myself sinking deeper into meditation, the tension slowly loosening up.
