OBSESSION

One

It is extraordinary how fairy tales taught such incredible and nuanced lessons behind the most outrageous story.

The Princess and the Pea, for example, seems to be the most ridiculous form of literature to live. Leaving behind the fact that a little pea would be flattened under the weight of twenty whole mattresses plus a woman with a normal weight, it was impossible for anyone to feel something that small. Especially to the point where it got in the way of a quality sleep.

It was imbiguous, obviously. The moral told to children is that one shouldn't be judged by appearance. Billie saw it differently. The pea, for example, represented Kai Rivera, her ex lover, and any negative emotion the thought of him triggered. To the average person, it could be grief or regret or trauma. The mattresses were the layers that we build over the feeling in order to cover it up, or block it out, or unfeel it. Twenty mattresses could be twenty years since the event transpired. Twenty things you tried to do to make the pain go away. Twenty moments of joy and happiness that should be concrete covers over the little pea. And you're the princess.

That little pea keeps you up at night. That tiny little pea pricks and prods at you the moment you try to find peace and rest on your big, fluffy mattresses. Other people don't see it. They wouldn't feel it. Not unless they were you. No matter how empathetic they are, or how in depth you told them about the pea, they wouldn't feel it unless they were the Princess. Unless they were you.

As she laid in bed with her eyes closed but still wide awake, Billie wondered if the Pea could actually take a physical form. If it was now literally under her mattress, keeping her awake all night. Making her cry from night to  early morning. Making her head ache and her lungs compress. She almost had the urge to get up and check, but refrained when her bedroom door was swung open. All of a sudden, the weight of a fully grown woman's body smashed on top of her.

“Ow!” she cried when she felt a jab in her stomach. “Jesus, Nica, you've got knives for elbows!”

Veronica laughed in response and settled next to her. “It's almost one PM. Get out of bed and take a damn shower.”

Billie pulled her blankets down and faced the girl in question. She was smiling, Veronica Sanchez always was. If she hadn't told her all her problems, Billie would assume that the girl lived a perfect life. Even after knowing them, she still believe so. After all, the perfect life wasn't defined by having no problem, but rather by being able to smile right through them.

“I have nowhere to be. Why would I get up?”

“Because!” Veronica exclaimed, lifting up and sitting on her heels next to Billie. “You, Lula and I are going out to celebrate.”

Billie frowned. “Celebrate what?”

“Well, you do remember the deal I made with he-whose-name-shall-not-be-said a couple months ago to make my own jewelry store, courtesy to this beautiful young lady in front of me who was way too good for him anyway?” As she said this, she fell back onto one of Billie's pillows and cuddled close to her.

Billie tried to ignore the throbbing ache that rose at the mention of him. Pushed back any memories that suddenly raced across her head as if on queue. She quite literally swallowed down the ball of grief in her throat before replying, “Of course, yeah. Is this good news?”

“It's great news. Since the mall will take a couple of years to build, they are going to help me develop an online store so that I can start reaching a larger audience and selling my pieces ASAP. We're discussing packaging and partnering with shipping companies and getting delivery services and everything. It all just feels so...” She sighed dreamily before saying, “unreal!”