4:04

Chapter One

Have you ever felt different from other people? Where you bullied because of it? Where you hated? People think they have the right to say what's right and what's wrong but that's based on what they are themselves. If they are skinny, they won't say skinny is wrong. Nobody calls himself wrong because that's just not how humans work. But let's say, you're really different from all the people, even those that are already called different. If you're different from every living human being, what does that make you? That's exactly my problem. I wasn't like any of them, like any of you. 

I looked inside the mirror and saw the first thing that made me different. My eyes. The black pupils were bigger than most people and that's why they often called me Junkie. My eyes were a very light green and instead of a black circle to make things complete, I had a red circle. People thought I wore contacts. 

My hair was the second thing that made me different but there was a group that was the same like me. They called me Emo and that's because my hair was a mix of purple and red. I didn't dye it though. It was like that since I was around 5 years old. That's when my parents first saw I was different. 

My skin was the next thing. It was very light, almost white, even though I often walked in the sun. I never got a tan and never got a burn either. I never had acne or other pubertal problems. It was too smooth to be a guy's skin and that's why they called me gay. They called me that even before they knew what it meant. My skin had another weird thing. And that's what freaked even me out. 

I took Dad's razor in my hand and in one fast movement, I cut from my wrist to the inside of my elbow. I hissed in pain and let go of the razor. I didn't take any toilet paper because I knew it wasn't needed. I watched how the blood creeped out of the wound and suddenly I saw the skin closing. It was a pretty deep wound but within 5 second it was closed and didn't even leave a scar. It scared me. I was not a normal person.  

There were a lot of things like that and they all made me different. I could hide some but things like my eyes, skin and hair were hard to hide. Some people were scared of me and others called me a monster. They haven't even seen my weirdest things but if they saw, that's when they would know how much of a monster I truly was. I was scared of myself sometimes. I was still a little child when I first saw I wasn't like other kids my age. And that's how I became an outcast without even doing anything.  

In school I was the Emo, the fag, the freak. At home I was the scary monster.  

Welcome to the story of my life. It's not a happy one or one that will make your heart warm but it's a story that will leave you chilled to the bone. You will see what humanity really is and what people are capable of. 

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At 6:30 my alarm woke me up. I groaned and pulled the sheets over my head. I didn't want to go to school because it was the same every day. No matter how many words the teachers said, nobody ever learned anything. They all said it would be important later in our life but even they knew it was bullshit. 

At 6:40 my alarm woke me up a second time. I pushed the sheets off of me and pulled an angry face. I sighed and decided to get up. I searched through the clothes in my closet and threw the rights ones on my bed. Then I went to take a shower, brush my teeth and do my hair. As always, I looked in the mirror and wondered who was really staring back at me. My weird eye color never changed. I tried putting in normal contacts but it seemed that I was allergic to it so that meant goodbye contacts. I also tried dying my hair black because black was a dominant color but I freaked out when I saw how the paint got rejected by my hair. I just washed it all out and not one single hair was black. It was creepy. 

I hurried back to my room, put on my clothes, took my bag and ran to the kitchen. Mom was reading some book and drinking coffee. She looked up to me when I walked in but focused her eyes back to her plain words. I shoved something to eat in my bag and ran to the door.