"If you truly wish to be with me, know this..." He whispers into the darkness while holding me, "I will control you, command you and tell you what to do." I remember how my eyes burst wide open and I tried to pull free. I completely freaked out. Who...
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With Ollie I had these sparkles that flew across my body when he kissed me. I pressed my lips harder against Aron's and....
Nothing.
No sparkles. No butterflies. Nothing. It was like kissing a doll.
I was disappointed to say the least, I hoped to feel something amazing.
He had been so sweet all night and now I was pushed back, having no connection. It was just plain sad and he pushed his forehead against mine after the kiss.
"We'll be friends. Good friends, but right now I need you. To pretend to be mine. Can you do that for me?" "Why?" I remember asking and I felt him shuffle closer to me.
"Because just like you, I still have feelings for someone else but they are far away."
"How..."
"Did I know? You do not react to flirting. You have this sad look in your eyes and you stare into the distance more than into the current happening." I didn't want to admit it, but yes I missed Ollie. I missed him more than I had realized. And it was 3 years and I was aching for him. And the one who had noticed that was Aron. A boy who had only known me for months and had come into our school from another town for those two last years of high school.
"What was she called?" I ask and he inhales slowly before saying her name, Mira. The last dance is announced and he leads me to the dance floor, holding me tightly and ever so gently. We both ached for someone, someone else but all we had was each other and at that very moment it was good enough.
-
Aron and I did not kiss again. Nor did we hold hands. We did not really hang out so I spent the recesses alone regularly. I always had enjoyed the silence and being a bit of a lone wolf was not completely new to me. I did not even look for my classmates, I let them stand around in their own little groups. They were serious about studying while I did not do any effort towards it. They were different from me with no same interests so what would've been the point of hanging out with them?
And then suddenly on the next recess I was not alone anymore. Again.
Christa showed up and spoke to me about school and everything not related to Matt. I did not want to ask if there was a reason for it. I let her fill up the silence and watched other kids across the yard. I felt someone looking at me and I looked over Christa's shoulder, seeing Aron watching me. I tilt my head slightly, trying to motion an "hi" but he lowers his chin, closes his eyes, nods and turns around. Rude!
Christa looks over her shoulder as I turn away annoyed.
"He's coming." She whispers and gives me an encouraging smile.
"Thought you turned away." I said as he stalked closer to me, looking tired as hell.
"I have not been able to sleep." I nodded at him and he pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back 'cause I was tired as well.
You know how you sometimes feel that someone wants to say something? So I had to wait. Let Aron just be, until,
"I really like you. So much." I inhaled his scent into my nostrils and I nodded against his shoulder. He pushed me away and I accidentally let out a noise that sounded like a disagreement. His eyes were watery and I remember wondering if he was faking it, but then he asked;
"Let's give us a chance, yea?" He whispered, holding me close.
"If you can kiss me like I would be your first choice, then yes." I whispered taunting him, assuming he'd give up. And he does pull slightly away from me, but not because of giving up as I thought;
"I'll kiss you like you're my last one." He pulled me against him again and pressed his lips on mine. Slowly. Taking his time.
He moved his other hand behind my head and grabbed my hair, opening his lips slightly, letting his tongue meet with my lips and then with my tongue. His mouth opened a little more and our tongues could tangle onto each other, I ended up wrapping my arms behind his neck and his hand held my hair tightly, almost pulling it. Our breathing started to get heavier, our bodies hungrier.
This is what I wanted. What I needed.
Slowly he pulled his tongue away from me, separating our lips from each other. I continued leaning against him and I felt him being harder.
"Damn girl."
"Yes?" I asked and watched him slowly realizing what I meant.
"I don't want to let you go." He said as the recess bell rang and I kissed him roughly and quickly once more before pulling away from him.
"But you must. For the next 60 minutes." He groaned and escorted me to the classroom door upstairs, only to end up being late for his own class.
That kiss made me feel something. It wasn't butterflies. Nor any kind of electricity. But throughout the class I couldn't help but think of him. And how hard he got from just kissing me.
