📍LA
⏰9:07pm
⚠️ angst , violence, cussing , mentions of mental health issues , loss of pet , grief , miscarriage, OD , mentions of suicide and mental break down
1989
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tears streamed down my face uncontrollably as my husbands voice bounced and boomed off the walls of our home
there was glass everywhere from we're he had threw our glass vase that was sitting nicely on the marble kitchen counter , picture frames were now smashed off the walls which were once hung up and the house was a utter mess
a chair from the dining room was thrown off our 2nd story balcony now into pieces outside in our back garden
there was 2 massive holes in the walls upstairs in one of the rooms which isn't remember due to what's going on
it was hideous. there was no need
all because of the stupid paparazzi and fake stories being said in the media about me and Axl and our children
I'm just so glad our 3 year old daughter and my 1 year old son wasn't here right now
I'm so glad
they're with my mom and spending time with my parents who they haven't seen in a few months with Axl been busy and me being busy too with my team and the modelling
it's been a nightmare
this year has been the worst year of my life :
me and Axl have been drifting and non stop arguing
in January I had a miscarriage
my daughter has been acting up too.
my oldest brother OD on pills 2 months ago and sadly passed which absolutely broke me
my childhood dog died a week ago
my son is not very well and is very very poorly with a bad chest and ear ache
I've got all these meetings and interviews to do over the weekend
the paparazzi will not leave us alone and keep putting our fake stories and comments about me and my family
and the last thing I don't know if I'm pregnant again or not
the last week in a half I've been throwing up every morning , I've missed my period by 3 days which isn't like me at all
every smell is very sensitive to me which also isn't like me either
my back is aching everything I lay on my side , I have stomach aches and get very bad headaches every now and then and plus I'm eating more and I'm not the type just to snack all day
everything was getting on top of me. I'm so stressed and still grieving
but my mom is supposed to be coming here in a few hours and I need to get myself cleaned up , the house cleaned up , go and find Axl wherever he is , calm him down , talk to him which I know will go to shit anyways but it's worth a try and get some food sorted for the kids before they settle down for bed and get them back into the routine I have them in
I wiped my cheeks and damped my under eyes with some tissue as I stood in my dressing room
"fuck sake " I mumbled to myself looking down taking in deep slow breaths to calm myself
another loud crash came from downstairs which sounded like in the kitchen
please don't say he's smashed something else up
i stood up and walked out of my room and walked down the stairs to see the mess
i mentally slapped myself
it was a mess. the kids toys were everywhere , plates were smashed , the vase was still smashed up laying there now useless , more pictures were face down on the floor
