Shadow Ops: A Stand in the Shadows

Chapter 1

I sat there at the top of the stairs, my tiny frame huddled over itself, while my parents faced off at the dining room table, arms and legs crossed, glaring down at each other, a single stack of papers in the middle. I made sure to be still and quiet as the silence spoke for them; nothing could be done about it. My mother, my mother, who never raised her voice in her life, took off her ring, threw it on top of the papers, picked up a vase, and chucked it at the TV.

"Say something, Dammit!" She yelled. The sound startled me, and I felt my body jump against my will, for a brief moment, we all made eye contact as static from the broken tv played in the background, a distinct buzzing noise overlapping as the tv switched between channels, music and a man's garbled voice etching it's sound in my memory.

I sat across my dining room table, in uncomfortable silence, with my arms and legs crossed. My partner on the other side waited for me to speak first. That was his game, but I was done playing it with him. He stared down at the papers on the table, as if in shock. He took his hand and ran it through his brown hair, and with a sigh, he finally looked up at me. Piercing blue eyes met my soft brown ones.

"Look, let's just talk this out, okay?" He reached his hands out towards mine. They met only open space, and his hands fell onto the cherry wood surface. I rolled my eyes in disbelief, knowing this was how it always started: his pleading, reasoning, anger, and then finally, violence.

"I don't want to talk this out with you. I've made up my mind and I'm done. We're over. I'm sick of your abuse." I stood my ground, kept my arms crossed, and stared at his pleading figure. He looked like a sad shell or husk of a man, he stayed silent, pulled his hands back to his lap and stared down at the floor. It felt like I could hear his thoughts, the gears of his brain moving, turning, thinking of a way out of this situation. To him I was like water, something that you need to survive, something you would kill to have, but not something you think about when you have it; but to me he was like fire, something that keeps you warm and safe from a distance, but once you let it too close it burns you alive.

"Clara, you're making a mistake. You need me and I need you. We are so good together, remember when we met. That was one of the best days of my life." I stared at him as he tried to reason with me. His hands pleaded, reaching out to me as if the words in his mind were not forming fast enough. "Clara, I have a job and you need me to support you. You've been out of a job for nearly seven years!" I heard in his tone that his frustration was growing. "You need me!" he yelled into my face. I remained silent, stared him down, and let myself get lost in my thoughts, as the faint sound of static overlapping music and garbled voices overcame me.

"I can get back into the field. If you can stay in the field then I can get back in. I always out-performed you"

My mother rushed to her feet and ran her hands through her blonde hair, her hands intertwining at the base of her neck, sighing as she looked at me, our brown eyes meeting. Then, I ran. The awful static from the TV getting fainter and fainter the further I got. She ran after me before I finally came to a stop in my room, turning to face her. Did her face always look this pale? Were her hands always so shaky? When did her body start to cave in on itself? I could barely recognize her as I looked more closely at my mother. She gently pulled me towards her and embraced me.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." That's all she whispered to me before we were left in silence."I just need to get out of here, for my own sanity. It's not about you, ok?" she whispered into the top of my head before giving it a soft kiss.

"I just need to get out of here, for my own sanity," I whispered into the room, stopping his rant.

"What did you say?!" he yelled, slamming his fist down on the table with a loud thud. His eyes seemed to pop out of his skull. Red-faced, he looked crazed and dangerous.