Cold feet

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19 hours, 26 minutes, 45 seconds.
Then I'll be married.
Then I'll be tied down.
Then I'll be happy.

"Hun," my bride to be knocked on the door.

"Yes?" I stood and opened the door to my hotel room. Where I would be getting ready in 19 hours, 26 minutes, and 7 seconds.

"Are you sure about this?" She says too loudly. I pull her into the room.

19 hours, 25 minutes, 39 seconds.

"Yes I'm sure. I love you to death and you love me." I pulled her into an embrace, trying to calm her trembling body. She had lost weight, I could feel her hip bones digging into me.

"You're gay. I'm straight. Yes I love you, but you love men." She buried her face into my chest, letting me console her.

19 hours, 23 minutes, 17 seconds.

"I know I'm gay. I know you're straight. But you are the only woman I would ever care about. And I love you more than anything."

"This doesn't seem right." She had pulled me to the bed and sat next to me. I did want to do this. I loved her, I always had. Even since we were kids and she was my first girlfriend. That's when I realized I didn't like girls. I liked boys. But I still had a thing for this girl. I always had.

19 hours, 20 minutes, 22 seconds.

A smile formed behind my lips, but I didn't let it break free. I was going to marry my best friend.

She took my hand in hers and looked into my eyes.

"You're eyes have always been so grey," she whispered. "I love them. I love you."

19 hours, 18 minutes, 59 seconds.

"I can't wait for this. I can't wait to be yours forever. Then you don't have to be afraid. You don't have to let shitty boyfriends ever hurt you again." I held her close. I remembered when she was a teenager, she would come home from dates with black eyes or scratched cheeks. Those were just the ones I noticed right away.

"You always knew what was best for me." She smiled lightly, her perfectly white and straight teeth flashing me.

"I know," I whispered. "You sure are rocking it for a 20 year old by the way. I love these sweatpants."

I laughed and made her twirl and dance, trying to make her smile.

"Not to bad yourself, handsome. Those pajamas do you wonders." She winked and pulled me up. I stood in front of her and swept her into a waltz, a dance we had learned together. We danced quietly into the night, occasional chatter, just her light humming of music we didn't have.

18 hours, 48 minutes, 43 seconds.

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