Cycle of Inertia

The cold winter air assaults my face like a lion pouncing on a deer, my hair flys back as I feel the goosebumps on my skin. Stumbling, I manage to wrap my gloved hand on the door handle, it creaks as I quickly rush inside trying to catch my breath. A few eyes turn to face me as a mustached man stomps down the stairs. He scowls walking over. "Took your sweet ass time, do you want to get fired?" he growled. "Sorry, my bus was late, didn't you get my call?'' I responded. "Yes, but it does not change the fact you're late, and what's with the mask, you sick? Whatever, just clock in and do your job." He shuffles up the stairs. I hussle over to the back room and toss my jacket in the corner, brushing the snow off my shirt, I put on my name tag, in the corner of my eye I spot a pink wallet on the floor that I snatch on the way out, getting to the computer I tap my young coworker on the back. You dropped this, again..." I groan, waving the wallet. Snatching it she looks at me funny. "I didn't take anything out," I responded. She tries to change the subject, "I knew that just...well.... hey Iris, did you see the plaque on the wall"? I don't bother looking up. "Right, employee of the month, I can't believe it, like I am in tears, I mean I was not even trying," she beams. I nod pretending to care. "I know I might be overreacting, this probably is not a big deal to someone who's worked here for decades. Like you must have been up there tons of times" silence fills the room as I just stare back. Eventually, I break it. "So, are you at the bar or tables today?" I say, sniffling. "Bar, but well I am having some trouble with..." before she can finish I am already typing in her password on the computer, there is a ding as a green arrow flashes. "Thanks Iris, you're amazing, say I did not sleep well last night so could you get this first customer" she smiles. Sighing, I'm already walking over to the bar. "Thanks'' she yells, running into the bathroom. The old man at the bar does not hesitate to snap loudly to signal me. " A whisky sour, and turn on the TV." He coughs. Not wasting any time, I get to work, and toss on gloves before touching anything. The second I am done with the drink I see the dirty table across the room with used plates, the waitress just stands in the corner laughing on the phone with a friend. I quickly head over, TV chatter in my ear. "This fancy beach side house can be yours! Just call the number below to be put in a raffle, remember first two years rent free" it's then cut off as the football game resumes. The second I'm done cleaning the table the old man puts his drink down. "Good stuff, see ya" he grunts, not even looking at the tip jar in front of him, and exits through the front door. The next few hours of my shift drag on, every so often I gaze at the clock only to be disappointed and get back to work, finally when I get a chance to sit, I hear the clash of glass as kid drops their glass, with a moan I drag my feet over with broom and butler. " So what is her deal? Going through menopause?'' I glance up. Leaning on the wall are two coworkers, one a new trainee, both in hearing distance. " Oh her..., at birth something must have crawled up her ass and died, always moping around depressed, don't talk to her if you're in a good mood" she spits while playing with her hair. "Good to know, in fact she gives me autistic vibes, why do they even hire people like that?" said the trainee. Gripping my broom harder, I hear the bell of the door, a man brushes off snow laughing to himself, "Man the new year is starting off rough, last time I checked this was Boston, not Alaska" he chuckles. He hangs his coat and sits in the closest booth. "Any drinks to start off?" I pull out my notepad. "Promised my doctor to lay off the sugary stuff, and can't drink since I'm driving, so I guess ice water will do" smiling as he looks through the menu. Nodding, I run over to the kitchen and start getting the drink, once again the clock catches my eye. "Only an hour left, then I have to swing by CVS for mom's meds. I don't think I can visit dad in this weather," shaking my head, frustrated, I grab the ice water. The second I walk outside, the door upstairs swings open, slamming against my heel, everything feels like it's going in slow motion as it falls to the floor and the glass lands on the table contents splashing on the customer. "Iris, you idiot! look where you're going!" shouts the manager. He runs past me as I slowly get to my feet. " So sorry sir for my waitress, she -" the man starts to speak over him. "Thanks, your employee is very considerate for trying to wash my shirt, this stain refuses to come out" smiled the man holding out his soggy shirt. The manager is dumbfounded before regaining his composure. " I'll grab some napkins." He gives me a dirty look before going towards the kitchen. "Thanks..." my muffled voice is barely audible. " I'm lucky I didn't order the hot chocolate" he laughs, adjusting his baseball cap. After that mess I needed to sit down for a bit. I asked a coworker to take my table, in exchange she could have the tip money. Slouching in the chair, I felt the sweat dripping down, this cold is getting worse, maybe I can grab something over the counter at CVS. "I still don't understand why that man did that. Does he want me in his debt? Maybe he thought I was pretty?, no definitely not that".Confused, I close my eyes for just a second. "Why am I alive? If you're watching God, this isn't funny!" Everything becomes silent for a second before an annoying beep fills my ears, I snap awake and my vibrating phone almost falls out of my pocket. I stare at it and look up at the clock then back to the phone several times before my brain connects the dots. "Shit! My bus! I grab my stuff and book it at top speed. jumping over the wet floor and into the blizzard outside. I now had to deal with new obstacles being the slush and ice, the sidewalk was still not shoveled so I made a detour through a nearby lawn. The snow drags at my feet, making it a pain to run, but I can see the bus stop down the street, the bus is pulling up now. "Wait, stop!" I yell pulling out my card, however I lose my footing falling next to the bench, the card flies out of my hand onto the snow, a teenager in front of me steps on it as I reach my hand out. "OW!'' I yell holding my hand. Oblivious to my presence, the boy gets on the bus, not turning around. As I pick myself up a deep voice hits my ears. " Hold your horses lady," says the bus driver. " This is the 178 route , I take it everyday," I responded. " Well find a new bus, new policy says I now only pick up students. " Look I did not know, how about a 10 and you let me on today" annoyed I pull out my purse but the driver stomps his foot. " Rules are rules, now stop wasting my time''! closing the door in my face he drives off as I cough smoke. "Prick." I bite my lip in anger quickly trying to think of what to do next only for my train of thought to be blown to bits by the smell of something rank, I didn't notice because of my cold but looking down I turn my boot to see a brown stain. Never have I felt so hot from anger, for a second I forgot I was in a blizzard. "No place is going to let me inside with this boot" I enter a nearby alleyway and try and clean it to barely any avail. The cold is now starting to get to me as I rub my chapped lips, I turn to a nearby pizza place and walk up the stairs. It's been forever since I've been here, the owner has changed along with the layout. The only thing that was the same was the relaxing music playing in the background, but now all I cared about was that it was warm. " Can I help you"? A woman behind the registers turned her head. " I just need to sit down," the lady pushes in her glasses. "You can sit once you order something," she barks. Fist tightening I feel like I am going to explode. "I am not dealing with any more shit today" but before I can speak a voice comes from behind me. " I think you should let her sit" the same man with the baseball cap from before walks in, he hands the lady a card, her eyes widened. "Your.... Wow my husband is a huge fan, we are actually going to the game on Thursday, you and your friend can sit anywhere" she beams. He winks to me as I slowly go to a two seater by the back window. There is a moment of silence as we look at each other parallel. " Why did you follow me?" I mumble. " I just saw you run out the door as I was getting into my truck, I wanted to see if you're alright " he said, scratching his beard. " Do I look alright?!" wiping my sweaty forehead. "I mean it could always be worse, look everyone has a bad day but things will get better. Tough it out" looking at his smile tears drip down my face. "Tough it out? Easy to say from someone rich and famous!, I have to work 2 full time jobs just to pay rent, I always take home any leftovers from customers at work, I had to sell my car, my computer, and couch, and every single day it's the same shit over and over...," I slam the table in anger, face red. "Am I doomed to be miserable for the rest of my life, why are you even trying to be nice to me? Just leave me alone..." I put my head down on the table in a puddle of sweat. All I can do is cry, after a few minutes I slowly look up, he is still sitting there quietly, hands folded. "Iris was it, I am not going to sugar coat it, life sucks ass, there are many wonderful things, but it's drowned out by the negative stuff. I try to smile and be positive, but sometimes I just can't take it, but if I learned anything friends and family are a big help, do you have anyone special in your life?" he says calmly. " My mother is the only relative in town, well...that's still alive, she never recovered from the shock, she quit her job and spends all day inside on the rocking chair watching old sitcoms, as for friends nobody is really talked to me unless they want to use me," I respond looking at the snow fall. " I think I know what you need, first you need to work up the courage to talk to people, even if it's something as simple as hello, second maybe you should move to someplace with more opportunities with your mom, and maybe try a change of profession" he responds. "Easier said than done, I need money to move, and people are not going to want to be friends with someone like me, and change profession? To what?'' I try not to raise my voice too much as I bark back. " What do you like? Do you have any talents? I always had a good arm'' he flexes. I think for a second. "Well,I had a bit of a gardening phase, it saves trips to the store if you can grow your own food...but it won't work, and I would need room to grow it" I nervously bit my nail. " I'm sure you heard of that big raffle , huge beachside lots next to that new "city of the future "," Why don't you enter?" he beams. " The chances of me winning might as well be zero, it would be easier if you just give me the money for a new house," I say half joking. He puts his hands together. "Iris, I can give you a ride home today, I can give you front row seats to the game, but when it comes to this you're going to have to be on your own, do whatever you need to achieve your dreams, and don't be afraid to take a chance". "But-" I stop myself as he continues. " I know its hard but life would be boring if everything was just handed to you, Believe it or not you have already taken the first step'' it took a second for me to realize, but I am not talking to a customer anymore, unable to stop myself I blush a little and try to cover my face. " Now I could sit here all day and stare at your pretty face but the team captain is going to kill me if I stay any longer, same with my wife if I don't call her, say shall we get going?" He straightens his hat as he slowly walks to the door. I snap to it, following him, while we were talking, the sun had broken through the clouds and the snow had died down. I stare at the sky, then take a deep breath. " Sorry but... can we just stand here for a minute?" my eyes on the few snowflakes in the wind. He nods, smiling leaning on his truck. I still am sick, tired and a little chilly, but for whatever reason I don't mind, I don't mind one bit.