Raven's School of Magic: Year One

Chapter 5: A Mother's Sorrow and a Father's Hope

Akana

I sit down on my bed quietly and sigh softly. Ally finally fell asleep after some coaxing. Tomorrow was her big day. She will be going to Raven's and leaving home. I close my eyes and sigh. I wish I could just hold her close forever and never let her leave my sight, but I know she has to grow into her person.

"Babe? Are you alright?" I open my eyes and look over to my handsome husband. He was in his pajamas which were just a pair of sleeping pants and no shirt. He was drying his light blonde hair with a towel having just gotten out of the shower. His arms, chest, and back are covered in tattoos. Some are magic runes and others are just other designs that mean something else and are there to cover the many scars he received in his childhood. My eyes always go to the one for our children we have together: a twin pair of wands that he got one year after they were born.

I sigh and nod. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just... I'm so lost in my thoughts I think." I tell him and look down at my hands. Of course, I was. I always think about the same thing every night. The life I lost... the life I was supposed to protect... my little one I never got to hold after giving birth to him. All because I was too tired and weak. What kind of mother does that?

Phoenix walks over and sits next to me. He wraps one of his strong arms around my waist and pulls me close. "You can talk to me. I know you're still hurting." I feel a pang of guilt. I know that he is hurting too. He blames himself for what happened, for waking up to hurting me crying out in anguish when I went to see our newborns. He thought he should have been watching them, not a midwife who had been dozing instead of watching them.

"You are too, Nix. Don't act all big and strong just for me..." I whisper and lean into his comforting warmth. I trace the twin wands that were on his arm and close my eyes. "I just can't... help but feel like he's out there somewhere suffering. I don't feel lost, Nix. I feel emptiness because he isn't here with us under our protection. I-I just feel like maybe I should have looked harder... He's out there and I can't... get to him..." my voice cracks and wavers as tears come to my eyes.

My poor son. I had been told that he had looked just like Nix when he was a baby. I've seen pictures of my husband as a baby too so I could picture him all too well. I can't help but want to cry even more when I do though. He was so perfect in my arms back then. I want him back. I just want to hold him for the first time even now regardless of his age.

"You couldn't have done anything, Akana. You were weakened and tired after being in labor for so long." Nix kisses the top of my head. I feel him starting to shake from grief. "Those shadows must have something to do with what happened to him. They aren't the Dark One themselves, but they are a part of that bastard. I'm sure that's how they took our son away." his voice turns to anger. "And now they are going around nearly killing innocent victims in the night for no reason. Is its goal just to create chaos? We've been in fear of it for so long, why strike now?!"

I can tell he wants to get up to punch a wall so I take his fists gently and kiss them. "I think it is afraid... somehow a firstborn twin is supposed to be born and able to defeat it," I say and cup his face so that he will calm down. I see the deep anger and sorrow in his teal eyes and lean up slowly brushing our lips together. The sparks between us make him shiver and lets out a shaky gasp. "Please calm down, Nix. The last time you got upset you hurt your hand so badly. I don't want you to be in pain."

He watches me carefully and I can tell he is calming down. "You know... you never told me the name that you picked out for him. Are you ever going to tell me?" he asks me in a softer tone. I feel his breath on my lips since we're so close.