Damsel in Control (18+ Only) - The Rogue Pack

Chapter 45

And for the final chapter... I can't quite believe this is the end. I've absolutely loved every second of writing this book, and I can only hope you've enjoyed every second of reading it! 

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Enjoy the final chapter guys xxx

I enter the party hesitantly. Sam had reassured me that it wasn't a party in my honour, but I find it oddly suspicious that barely a week after joining, the Alpha of the Rogue Pack chose to call all of our members to return from across the world just for a simple party.

Beside me, Saul gives my hand a soft squeeze. I'm lucky to have him, a friend within the pack. They've all been so welcoming, at least the few I've met who live here full time. Yet I still can't help but feel like an outsider. I think I always will, an Alpha living outwith her hierarchical place in a pack that is not her own. That will always make me an outsider, that much I have learnt. Just like Isaac warned me.

It's just nice to have Saul around so often, to know that even though everyone else pretends to either understand my situation, or fakes indifference to it, he's the only one who truly knows everything and chooses to be my friend regardless. At least no one has shown me any pity. I think that would be the worst of all, knowing that people were looking at me with that sad compassion in their eyes, it would drive me mad.

Luckily though, that hasn't happened, and I've actually started making a couple of vague acquaintances that I'm hoping will soon become friends. On top of that, being in this pack has shown me so many new things about the werewolf community that I still can't believe I didn't realise sooner.

It's the little things, like having dinner all together or taking it in turns to cook for each other. None of the hierarchical, power hungry ruling that I'm used to where the inferiors cook and clean, while the others sit and eat. Or the fact that everyone trains together, no matter ability level or status. Sam believes everyone has the right to learn and better themselves, and I can't help but agree as I look around the room. I mean I'm an Alpha, supposedly the strongest of the wolves, and yet Obi, the pack's now retired Gamma, can easily deadlift at least twice what I can. I wouldn't even dare to take on his mate in hand to hand combat, and she's a little old lady. Yet not a single one of them has judged me for it. They have been supportive and encouraging, and already signs of my progress are beginning to show.

I take another step into the party, feeling slightly alone as Saul releases my hand to go welcome some of the members of the pack. Our pack, Aida corrects. I sigh. I'm still not used to this being my home, however temporary the situation may be.

I had promised myself that today I would be brave. That I would walk into this party with my head held high, feeling like I belonged. Yet even now I find that difficult. I think it's partly because I'd promised myself too much. I'd promised myself that not only would I feel confident, but that I had to feel confident as myself. Which meant letting my marks show, those bite marks from the tens of previous Alpha partners, the marks that cover my entire body. I'd promised myself that I'd let a little bit of my truth be known to the pack I have joined.

But I don't dare. It's strange, bravery. Everyone is brave in such different ways. I can confidently walk through a room full of strangers in a dress that reveals every inch of my back, yet exposing my marks seems like the most difficult thing in the world. I'm worried they'll judge me, assume the worst when they see the countless bites. Signs I have been claimed and betrayed by one who loved me. Or worse, I worry that they'll assume the truth. Know how I have used others physically.