(18)
" Dazai-san... Isn't that too much? "
" Too much? What is...?"
" About what you said to Akutagawa..."
" Ah? That? When? Did we encountered him recently?"
Still feigning innocence and Atsushi snapped then raised his voice a little, implying that he's serious in asking.
" Dazai-san! Yesterday we did. "
Noticing the change in Atsushi's expression, Dazai finally heave a sigh, giving up on playtalking.
" Akutagawa... He is way stronger than me.. he's better than me.. "
Atsushi added then he drooped his head.
" Atsushi-kun... What are you saying all of a sudden?"
Dazai softly asked as he tapped Atsushi's shoulder. And as Atsushi looked up, he bore a gloomy countenance then asked,
" He looked up to you, I can see it. But why do you have to say it like that...? "
" I had to. "
Dazai shortly answered as he lightly curved his lips.
Obviously, Dazai's response confused Atsushi.
" Dazai-san...?"
Atsushi called out again, clearly pleading a more understandable explanation and Dazai read Atsushi's pleas, his eyes flickered.
" I want the warmth to be replaced by coldness and the best way to achieve that is to trigger the most severe emotion a person could have----hatred. That way, he will forget the warmth, be clamped by the glace but I know not for too long as surely he will seek warmth anew, not from his past but from another, he'll grow and finally face what's in front of him, what's ahead...which is what I wanted for him."
Dazai answered softly and sternly as he chose to look faraway, likely in a daze.
"Do you mean, y-you wanted him to loathe you... ? I don't understand it, Dazai-san... Why.."
Atsushi who can't keep up with the somewhat subtle response of Dazai, only asked again which made Dazai turned to look at him then chuckled.
" Let's say like, I don't hold close to me those I, treasured the most. The more I stay with them, the more I'll cherish them to the point of being unable to continue when the fated time came that they will be taken away from me... and so-------------I leave them first, that's the path I've chosen to live.
I don't hold them close to me but they, to my heart were carved like a priceless framework. "
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Soulmates, Tainted and Twisted (Soukoku: Yaoi Fanfic)
Fiksi PenggemarPairing: Chuuya x Dazai ( Bungou Stray Dogs) Synopsis: (AU Soukoku //) Shrouded with darkness. Chuuya was enveloped by mixed emotions yet his resolve made him come up with a bittersweet decision------to lit off his only light, sending his feelings...
