How to Carry On

Chapter 1

Past:
~November 28, 2012~

This was it. This would be the very last time I would ever see my mom. A part of me didn't want to look at her. I just couldn't. But a bigger part of me wanted to memorize all of her features.

Her long, dark black hair was straightened and her make up had been all done up. She look like she was about to leave to go clubbing with her best friends for another girls night out. It had been months since she had gone out to the club. She wore her favorite dress. It was white with silver sequencing all over the front of it. The dress stopped at knee-length.

My mother, Gina Marie Cortes-Velasquez was dead.

I was currently at the viewing with my dad, Jorge Cortes, and family and friends of my moms. My mother was a very kind person. So naturally, she had a lot of friends.

My aunt had just finished give the beautifully written eulogy. My uncles were told that it was time for them to carry my mom's casket out to the hearse. Even though I felt I couldn't look at her, I looked one last time. I needed a final glance before she was gone for good. My uncle closed the lid slowly and gently, then left out of the church.
~*~*~*~
Time passed by too quickly in the car. Before I knew it we were already at the grave site. The sky was cloudy and grey without any trace of the sun. The whole atmosphere felt depressing. The father was standing next to a giant hole in the ground. He was surrounded by flowers and people. I blacked out occasionally through the service. I couldn't help think about how much easier all of this was knowing I was an only child. I won't have to worry about comforting any siblings or anything.

The father went on talking and I didn't have enough in me to pay any attention. All I know is that he was speaking in Spanish.

My dad walked straight to the father as soon as he was done. He thanked him for his service. I made the first move and grabbed a rose. I said my final goodbye.

As I threw the red flower on to the black and gold casket that had been lowered into the massive hole in the ground, everything became real. The moment the flower hit the casket reality bursted through me and gave me a cold chill.

I couldn't accept it, she was gone. I knew that sooner or later I'd have to face the fact that my mom won't be the one to wake me up in the morning, I won't ever get to hear her laugh ever again. I was my absolute favorite sound.

I was already in tears, but know I wanted to yell and just scream at the top of my lungs and let it all out. I wanted to cry until I couldn't anymore. But mostly I just really wanted my mom back.

Author's note: Hi!!! This is my first ever fanfic. I'll try to update as soon as I can but I can't promise too much xD I hope you enjoy this chapter though :3 ~M