Aww Yeah That's Some Good Drac

Untitled Part 1

Khaitlynn was a normal lovable girl who wanted nothing more than a Drac. Luckily, her father was a loaded Job Creator. Cecil Vandergrooten Sr. had made his money through an innovative line of lead-based supplements. One day she approached him with her very reasonable request.

"Not now, kiddo, daddy needs to give more folks brain damage."

He fished a fat wad of greenbacks out of his business briefcase, totaling one grand.

"Now buy some friends or whatever", Cecil said absentmindedly as he typed on his business tablet to do business.

Khaitlynn bounced down to the Mall of New Jersey, because that's where our story was situated. The gigantic glass cathedral in the shape of a shopping center was a monument to Man's Hubris And Ultimate Ruin. The little girl had a big smile on her face as she looked around the corridors for the outlet of Umbrella Inc. The corporation had pivoted to consumer pet solutions after Mike from Accounting had pointed out at the annual Secret Santa that making zombie viruses that randomly kill civilians and employees alike was Bad Business.

Eventually Khaitlynn found the Umbrella store. It had a big symbol of an umbrella in red and white on its glass sliding doors. Hence the name!

She went through the glass sliding doors that slid open and sidled up to the nice corporate drone lady that was compelled to serve the store today. The Nice Corporate Drone Lady idly took puffs from her vape. Eventually she looked down to Khaitlynn.

"Whatcha want, pipsqueak? Here for the genetic monstrosities?"

Khaitlynn nodded politely in affirmation to the question.

"Oi, Earl. Open up, we got another sucker."

At the back of the store a steel door swung open, surely operated by the unseen fellow employee. The Nice Corporate Drone Lady pushed Khaitlynn with both hands inside the animal hold. The room was lined with cages that held Dracs. The scientific abominations looked like the product of an unholy threeway between a bat, a lizard and Pinkie Pie.

"It's gorgeous", said Khaitlynn about a random specimen of the grotesque beasts.

"That's what we're supposed to tell folks", said the Nice Corporate Drone Lady.

She blew a cloud of vape vapor into Khaitlynn's face. It was gravy-flavored!

"We spritzed extra dextroglucose into the gene stew to make every part of the freakshow edible."

To underpin her scientifically dubious statement the Nice Corporate Drone Lady gripped Khaitlynn's arm.

"Science." She moved her face closer to Khaitlynn's and repeated her previous utterance, only slower and more emphatically. "Science."

Khaitlynn nodded politely. She hoped that would eventually make the Nice Corporate Drone Lady remove her vice-like grip.

Eventually the Nice Corporate Drone Lady fished a key out of her pocket.

"That's for the cage of the Insult To Nature. Do you have the moolah?"

Khaitlynn beamed as she gave the fat wad to the Nice Corporate Drone Lady. She counted the bills thoroughly and then said:

"You're one and a half grand short, tadpole. That means we have a situation here."

Khaitlynn wasn't sure how to react.

"Couldn't I just... pay it in installments?"

The Nice Corporate Drone Lady's face had turned as hard as New Jersey Turnpike asphalt.