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"We were both created in chaos. We were both born to destroy. You were like death, and I was like war. And when we collided, darling, I loved you."
___
MIN YOONGI
My gaze remained fixed on her, unwilling to tear away from her cold, lifeless form. Her blood congealed, her limbs stiffened; the connection between life and these lips severed long ago, leaving Death to cloak her like an untimely frost on the sweetest flower of the field.
My hands, now stained with her blood, grew colder as the crimson spilled onto my skin. I was consumed by agony, drained and struggling to catch my breath. Even though she was gone, my arms refused to release her. I couldn't bear the thought that I might have been the cause of her demise, the one who had kept me alive.
I had achieved my goal, fulfilled my duty. Yet, she had failed in her own task. And in my own way, I had failed too – failed to protect her, to love her, to honor her memory.
She departed with an unanswered plea.
In a hushed tone, I murmured, "I prayed... I prayed fervently," fear causing my voice to tremble. "I prayed for her return to me, alive. Yet this is the answer I receive from the divine," I continued, my hand shaking as I brushed a strand of hair from her face. "I never wished for this. Yes, she's alive, but... she's not the Y/N I knew and loved. And yet, fate inexorably leads to her lifeless body in my embrace. Do you grasp the injustice of it all?"
Turning slowly, I faced the God standing behind me, tears streaming down my cheeks, as they held a sword in hand.
"Do you understand, Janus?" I asked, the sound of my own voice echoing back to me. "She was more to me than just a symbol of allegiance and kinship; I wanted her to know that! I acknowledge the sins I've committed, and I accept the punishment I deserve. But she shouldn't have been dragged into it; she did nothing wrong. She became a casualty of your fury, just as I became lost in my own despair."
Silent, I stand, neither burying nor being buried, blood drying beneath my nails. I'm uncertain to which version of myself it truly belongs.
"I understand," Janus replied.
"No, you misunderstand," Yoongi countered, then sighed heavily. "People often wonder how I manage to exude fearlessness, strength, honesty, and confidence. But the truth is, fear has been a constant companion throughout my life; fear of losing the person I cherish most," I confessed, gently brushing Y/N's hair away from her face. My hand rested on her cheek, feeling the warmth slowly ebb away, replaced by a chilling cold. "And now that I have lost her, all that remains is solitude. It's agonizing, and I'd rather end my own suffering than endure this existence any longer. So, in a way, I suppose I'm grateful for the prospect of death."
