Apricity (Hange x fem reader modern au)

Adust #12

Pitter-patter was the only noise that filled the empty kitchen. You were standing on a counter facing the window to your left. Your knees were flat against your chest as you were holding them tightly in your arms, hugging them. The time was around 3:10 a.m., and due to your wakeful rest, you decided that you weren't going to lay in bed till the sunrise and overthink the Hange situation, but rather get up and distract yourself somehow.

That plan quickly changed when you heard the rain. At first, you were just going to close the window that Hange left open for ventilation, but you eventually decided to just sit down and watch the raindrops for a little. It's not like you had come up with any other distraction.

For the past 15 minutes, you've found yourself in the same position, eyes glued to all the little raindrops on the window, following them with your gaze. Acknowledging their different paths.

You weren't sure why you got so upset after your talk with Hange. Maybe it was because of your history of being emotionally dependent. Maybe it was because you saw something in Hange or the other way around - saw nothing in them and regretted the situation. You couldn't quite put your finger on it.

You began thinking back to yours and Levi's childhood friends. Furlan and Isabel. You got attached to them so fast and so easily, like you instantly clicked. Then there were a lot more friends to come. To them, you brought the same, thinking it was that easy for them to bond with you too, that it was mutual. Little did you know they were not as attached as you were. You did tend to stick with people and trust them easily. You were naive, unlike Levi, who stood on guard every time.

You were already used to being the adorer rather than the adored. You knew it was like that with everybody that introduces themselves to you. You cared too much and it brought you problems. You were dependent on people's opinions and moods.

With Hange was the same, you do adore them even if they don't see you as close as you see them. That was your problem - you cared too much.

A few moments later, you heard the door to the bedroom open. As you turned around, you saw Hange standing there. They were looking at you with confusion, evident
in their eyes.

Walking closer to you, they whispered, "thinking?"
To which you only nodded and returned your gaze back to the endless amount of raindrops on the glass window.

As they approached you, they leaned back on the counter and sat in silence for a moment.
"Sorry about earlier. I dont want to say it was a mistake cause i dont regret it, but it shouldn't have happened." They said barely above a whisper.

"Hange....don't worry about it. We talked about it and came to a conclusion." You said with annoyance evident in your voice. It wasn't exactly directed to your dormate, but rather the irritation you got just thinking about the conversation right after the greatest sex in your life.

"Right." They said as they plopped themselves right beside you, mimicking your stance.

You both sat in comfortable silence for what seemed like hours, but in reality, it was just a few minutes. That was until you spoke up.
"Did I wake you up?"

"No...I had a weird dream, I just didn't see you in bed and got worried." They said as their eyes immediately got stuck to yours like a magnet.

"You alright?" You said, trying to keep your composure after getting too excited from hearing them admitting their worries about you not being in bed.

"Yeah, you? You seem unusually distant."

"Im just thinking, im good." You replied, avoiding their gaze. They, however, grabbed your face with both their palms and forced you into facing them.