Sadness

memory 1: fifth grade

it was the first day of school.

i took a deep breath in and a deep breath out.

i bet everyone would be surprised by my new style and hair cut, and i hoped that they would love it as much as i do.

i stepped out of my dads van and gave him a kiss on the cheek. he smiled at me and told me i looked beautiful. i nodded then walked onto the school yard.

as soon as my friends saw my they started to run towards me, but once they saw what i looked like their eyes widened and they immediately slowed into a walk. i started to walk quicker and i fixed the straps on my new red backpack.

"Aga! , Pauline! , Ariana!, Jerry!"

i called out happily as i launched into Jerry's arms.

he caught me with a smile and he kissed me on the cheek.

"I've missed my best friend"

Jerry said as he tightly hugged me.

"i also love the new hair cut."

i grinned and quickly said thanks as he dropped me. i adjusted my blue plaid skirt and turned to Aga, Pauline, and Ariana. all of them were avoiding my gaze and our hugs were awkward.

i wondered what was wrong.

i looked around and went to see what class i was in.

MS. NETTLETON???!!!!

i was dreading the chance that i would be in her class but it turns out that i am.

i sighed and went to the fifth grader line. everyone turned and slowly looked me over, then they turned away. they all leaned close together and started to whisper.

maybe they were whispering about how the year would go.

Jerry came up behind me and quietly said 'Boo'

i squeaked and jumped, just as Jerry burst out laughing.

"Jerry!"

i scolded him teasingly and all he did was give me a cheesy grin.

------

It was January and i was sitting in my desk holding back tears.

the whole class was laughing at me as ms. Nettleton yelled at me.

"NICOLE! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUT A MULTIPLICATION SIGN! NOT AN ADDITION SIGN, DO YOU EVER PAY ATTENTION?"

the kids continued to snicker as the tears rolled down my cheeks. the bell for the end of the day came and ms. Nettleton told me i had detention cause of my mistake.

twenty minutes later i left the class still crying. when my babysitter saw me she got a worried look and she ran to me and hugged me.

"nicole?!?!?! what happened???"

i told her what happened and she stormed over to the principal and told her

"what?"

said the principal

"ms. Nettleton wouldnt do that. Nicole is lying."

then we left, my babysitter was furious.

Once my dad picked me up my babysitter told him what happened and he got pissed off and he wrote a strongly worded letter to my teacher and he told me to give it to her.

The next day I gave her the letter and she wrote back to my dad saying I lied, and of course my dad believed her.

---

In march I got called a lesbian because of how I looked. People started to avoid me and only the school bully talked to me.

Ms.Nettleton knew how much we hated each other but she sat the school bully alone with me in the corner of the class room.

Grade five was when it all started.