I found a little bit of you in me

I

Dear the unknown,

"Your mind is as free as you want it to be." I reread that line over and over again. I couldn't assimilate exactly what the author was try to get across. Naturally, our minds are what hold us back, or what make us say too much. I was tired of being astray to all emotions. I want to feel invincible not numb. 

Sincerely, 

Crystal 

 I put my cup of coffee down on the table and slammed my felled journal shut. I looked around one last time; wrapping my scarf around my neck and grabbing my hat. The weather was bitter and algid. I gazed the streets of the city. I admired the husbands rushing to the cabs to get to there family at home, the workaholics rushing home to pour themselves a bottle of wine after a long workday, but most of all I admired the teenagers who drew graffiti on the walls of empty-fatigued buildings. You see to them art isn't about the money or the showcases; it's about showing people that in life things can just be beautiful- No money, no animosity, just the power of purity and ingenuity. Those kids are the ones I will always admire and aspire to be.

 "Crystal, If you can please hand in your weekly journal." My professor smiled. I rubbed my eyes. I was zoning out- again. "I'm sorry, yes uhm-." I couldn't gather my thoughts. I never can, I pushed my hair back rumbling through my bag. "Just one second." I grabbed it on the bottom of my bag looking up at him in solace. "Here sir." He raised in eyebrow in concern of my lack of organization. He opened my journal to barely find a page of written work. "Now, Crystal how exactly do you expect me to grade a weeks worth of writing when I have exactly a half days worth of it?" He laughed aloud with the rest of the students. I rolled my eyes. I didn't exactly think he would be opening my journal in front of the entire class, after all, he did explain these would be personal and he would be the only one reading them. Nowadays, nothing is personal I guess.

"Writing shouldn't be forced- You will have my weeks worth of writing before the end of the semester. Writing is an art not a chore." I explained to him in admiration. For once I was satisfied with my answer. I knew he didn't want to waste any more time with me since he has over three hundred students to teach. I slouched back breathing out heavily. He continued teaching his philosophies about literature and how much it has impacted writing influences today. Something that did catch my eye was something he muttered as everyone was grabbing there bags to go; "I do not believe in writers block- I do not believe that you can sit down and block out your thoughts, They are there you have the power to use them, just learn how too." 

 It has been one week- seven days and one hundred and sixty-eight hours since my last journal entry. Exactly, what was I supposed to aspire to write about? I groaned getting up from my bed. I needed to get out, like a normal nineteen year old and do something new. Perhaps, that would add a new and alluring event to my life that I could write about. I moved my sunglasses out of my hair and onto my face. It's the end of October yet the sun still seems to brighter then ever. I turned the corner of the building to head toward the coffee shop just a few miles off campus. As much as I go to these shops I can't help but find control there. It gives me a comforting sign of purity and peace. I walked in and smiled at the older lady who seemed as if she never really does leave the shop. She knew my order as usual and nodded at me as I sat down in the same spot I always do- near the back window next to the small fireplace and table that almost looks as if it will break.

 "Missed you this week Crystal! Haven't seen you around? School must be keepin' you busy." The older lady smiled handing me my cup of coffee.

 I smiled she always loved making small talk with everyone and I admired her for that. "Yes, I have journals to finish for my writing class." I sipped my warm coffee and set it down quietly on the table. Your cafe inspires me." Her concerned face slowly turned to a crooked smile. "Have a good day Crystal."

 I opened my journal with empty black desolate pages. I couldn't get what my professor said out of my head. I needed to write my thoughts down. My problem is 'm not sure how. I sat there arduously looking at the pages, until, a boy about my age interrupted my unkempt thoughts.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I have to sweep over here. It is my job and If I don't Rose is going to fire me." He brushed his hands through his mess of hair and anxiously waited moving back and fourth while holding the broom. I then in that moment realized the older woman's name was Rose. I never did ask her what her name was and was taken aback by my actions. "Hello? Can you move now?" He pointed toward the other side of the cafe with empty tables and chairs.

 I realized I didn't answer him the first time, but he didn't have to be inconsiderate about the entire thing. "Look I was going to move, until, you decided to be an utter and complete jerk about it. Can you sweep over here later?" 

I assured him looking back down at my journal. He scoffed and not in the way a normal young adult would do, it was more like he was having a bad day and would be screaming at your right now if his boss wasn't watching every move he makes. "I understand you have things to do, we all do, but from the looks of it you have a blank page and I have an area I haven't swept yet and an event I have to help prepare for tonight." He moved the warn down table out of the way as a signal to get up and move. "So I will ask again- Please will you move to the other side of cafe?" I glanced at him and shut my journal and grabbed my cup of coffee. I didn't want to move, but he needed to get work done and so did I. 

I looked back at him as he was shaking his head in disbelief while sweeping around the chair where I was sitting. Rose walked across from my table with a bunch of supplies in her hands. She was humming a beautiful melody. I didn't realize I began humming too until she caught me.

 "You know I used to sing that song to my grandchildren, it put them to bed every night." She smiled holding the rag. "I hope Liam wasn't giving you any trouble." She raised an eyebrow finishing the table while picking up all the glasses. I half smiled; "No it was my fault, I was being stubborn." She laughed; "Ah, me too darling, but remember pride isn't any good when it becomes an ego booster negatively. Staying humble takes us a lot farther in life." I looked down and wrote that in my journal maybe a list of quotes will help inspire me or at least help me brainstorm. "I hope to see you at our event tonight, We need fresh faces here. Invite your friends too!" She shouted as she walked off before I could even decline her offer. 

I didn't even know what this event was or what it was for, but I told myself I would do something new today. I just didn't think it would be here at the cafe.