Finally Believing in what He's Been Telling Me All along about myself

chapter 19

        Bella pov

It was nice to finally just get all that off my chest and to be able to talk about it and tell him how I felt about it.

"It does feel good that I got to get to kick her ass though and that felt so fucking amazing." I was laughing at how I yank her ass back for reaching out for my husband and I even did the action again with again with my hand again.

My husband was cracking up laughing behind me. "That move right there was so fucking awesome to and the way you took her off guard like that." My husband said.

"Ohh, I know exactly who I want next! I owe her a beating too. She touched you and she tried to go after me when I was pregnant and thought I couldn't take care of my husband when he had surgery. Oh let's not forget about that picture she put in my husband watch and he found it after we got married. Pay back a bitch! Then Victoria!" My husband slammed me back against him and buried his face in my neck laughing.

"Wow! Planning our next mission and it just so happens to be your target is woman that messed messed with me. Don't ever change baby!" He told me.

"No one touches my husband and they helped let that whore out and they were going to take there turns with you. I can't kill them but I sure and the hell can beat the fucking hell out of them for touching or laying a finger on what's mine that's for God damn sure. I faught to God damn hard to get us help when I was weak and defensiveness and I had nothing to protect myself I couldn't even fucking walk. She got in and she was going to kidnap you I wasn't going to let that happen or let her find you on our home. She tried like hell but I stopped her at every chance she got. Changing passwords to not letting her in our living section or other areas of our home!" Edward stayed silent and just so I could talk.

"Even though my heart kept having pain! I made sure she was secured on that level and sealed before I brought Rosey food! It's so weird how I remember it so clearly now and how the  certain memories were locking slammed shut inside of my head since she got back inside my head again." I needed to get this out so bad.

"Let me back up! When we were finally sitting in the kitchen finally for the first time in my weakest point and I saw him behind daddy on that screen he got in mind again and I felt something behind ear!" I reached to where Edward took the device out behind my ear.

Edward took my hand into his and gently moved my hair from that spot and gently kiss that scar and I closed my eyes just to feel him.

"I started feeling like I didn't want you to see me like this because I couldn't be with you like we were supposed to be or other things. Then I really started thinking." Tears started falling from my eyes now and I opened my eyes and I stared into the fire.

"That's when I felt like I wasn't ever going to be able to be the same again so I prepared myself and I was going to say goodbye to you. Because I didn't want to hurt you but I didn't know there was a control device in my head and it wipes memory's too." I told him.

"So that last time before I left my body I knew I had to tell you exactly how I felt and hurry and leave because I knew it was going to hurt you but I also sensed something bad was going to happen if I didn't do it either. I don't know how to explain it. Give me a second maybe I figure out how to explain it let me do this please I need to get it out." I told him.

"Do what you have to baby and just get it out! I'm hear to listen like I always have been Bella!" I nodded my head and dropped my head.

Then I slowly brought up my head back up and looked up at the fire when I heard that music again.

"What is that music called?" I asked him. "Within!" He told me.

I tipped my head to the side and closed my eyes. I started to see how I could explain this to him.