Ich Liebe Dich, Lena ~ pt 2

☆ Seventeen ☆

The dream was a sign. Lando spun off at the next race. His car broke in half and he wasn't responding on the radio. The whole track was silent except for me who was screaming. They took him to the hospital and the amount of impact he had in the crash put him into a coma. I couldn't believe it... my boy... my love... completely unresponsive. Now I know how much it hurt him the times I was laying in a hospital bed unresponsive. I was crying into his hand with Daxie on my lap. I didn't even know if he could hear me but I was going to talk to him regardless.

"Lan... you promised me that the dream wasn't going to turn into a reality. Please tell me that you aren't dead. Please come back to me" I said. I squeezed his hand hoping for a response but there was nothing. The worst part was that before the race started I took a pregnancy test and I was pregnant again... I was going to tell him after the race but there we were... in a hospital room with him unresponsive. "It hurts even more telling you that I just found out I'm pregnant. it probably won't last because of our situation but I'm hoping that it does. It feels different this time. just please come back to me. I need you more than ever now" I said. Still nothing.

He got transferred to the Monaco hospital so I could go back to our apartment each night and leave Daxie there if I needed to but I took her with me. Every single day I went to see him. I even postponed becoming a princess because I wasn't going to do it without him by my side. I wasn't going to lose hope. Lando was too strong for that. I think it hurt the most when it was my birthday. My 21st birthday and the love of my life was in a coma. I didn't celebrate my birthday. I went my whole childhood not celebrating it so an extra year wasn't going to hurt. It wasn't a milestone. The only thing I was able to do was drink in America but I did that regardless with my fake ID. I knew Lando would be so pissed off finding out that he missed my birthday but I hated my birthday anyways. The only reason I started celebrating it again was because Lando always wanted to do something special for it and there was no way anyone could stop him.

A few weeks later he still wasn't awake. It had been a month. I actually was starting to lose hope. "Come on, baby. I can't lose you like this... please. Just a little tap is all I'm asking" I said. I didn't think I would get a response but then I felt a tap on my hand. I looked up and I saw his finger move. He was still with me. I had tears flowing down my face as he started to move his fingers. He was coming back to me. It took him an hour but he opened his eyes. I finally saw those blue eyes again. I had missed those eyes so much. He tried to speak but I put my finger on his lips. I knew how hard it was to speak after being in a coma for like a month. "You don't have to speak, baby. You opening your eyes is enough. your eyes are speaking more words to me than ever" I said. "They said it's probably best if you take the rest of the season off but they said you could do the last race at Hockenheim if you're up for it by then" I said. I didn't want to push him. "We can take some time together. Also, I don't know if you heard what I said but..." I said as I passed my pregnancy test to him.

"You're... pregnant...?" He said in a weak and raspy voice. I nodded.

"Yeah but don't get your hopes up. It's been a month but a miscarriage is still likely" I said. As much as I hated reminding him; I had to. "But maybe it's the world showing us that it's too early. We're only 21 & 24" I said. I could see the confusion on Lando's face when I said 21. He didn't realise that he missed my birthday.

"Baby, you're only 20" he said. I shook my head. He grabbed his phone and checked the date. 30th August. His jaw dropped and he realised he missed it. "Baby... I'm so sorry..." he said.

"It's not your fault, baby. you were in a coma. it wouldn't have been a great birthday without you anyways so I didn't celebrate it. I just spent the whole day here waiting for you to wake up. It's fine. I don't like my birthday anyways" I said.

"No, Lena. I want to celebrate your birthday because it's important to you" he said.

"It's not that important to me. it's just the mark of another year of me living on this stupid planet" I said.

"Your birthday deserves to be celebrated, baby. I promise we'll do something for it" he said.

We waited a week for Lando to get back on his feet. Baby was still going strong until I went to the toilet and was once again in a pool of blood. That was our 3rd miscarriage. I didn't know how much more I could take...

Lando took me to get my ears pierced the next day. He knew how to cheer me up. I got my helix and snug done. I finally had my ears at what I counted as fully pierced. I was so happy. I had one more thing I wanted to do. I pulled out my notebook and pen and gave it to him.

"I want you to draw my next tattoo. It can be anything you like as long as it's not a cock" I said with a laugh.

"I'm not going to draw a cock. I'm not that evil!!" He said with a laugh as he started drawing. He drew a heart with LN4 in the middle and we went to the tattoo shop instantly. I decided to get it on my forearm. "LN4 forever, baby. You'll always be a part of me and I'll always be a part of you" he said. I held his hand and squeezed it while looking up to him.

"marked forever" I said.

"marked forever" he repeated.