Message in a Bottle [LGBTQ+] [ONC 2024]

Letter #9

Dear Eli,

I'm sorry.

I do not know what else I can say other than that. You are right. You put your trust in me and I have not done the same. Instead, I have been obscure in my wording, vague in everything I say, and wary about how much information I am willing to reveal. There is a reason for it, but I know that the reason may not be good enough for you, especially when I refuse to say what it is.

Your anger is justifiable and I will not try to say otherwise.

My intention was never to harm you, nor to make a joke at your expense. I know that that may seem false given the circumstances, but it is the truth. All I wanted was a friend. I wanted someone who I could talk to through these letters and who would get to know me as I am before they met me in person. Too many people meet me and make assumptions based upon what they see.

I wanted someone to see me as I am on the inside, not what they see on the outside.

Perhaps I took it too far. The fault is on me, but in no way was this a joke and I hate that you believe it to be the case. It is entirely my fault. This was not to be a joke, especially at your expense. I never wanted you to feel that way, especially when you let me into your life in such a personal way.

I do wish to continue speaking with you because I feel like you really have become my friend, but I would understand if you never write to me again. I have hurt you and your trust. Trust is important and near-impossible to build back up once it has been broken and I broke yours in a vain attempt to befriend someone.

I hope to hear from you soon, but if I don't, I will not hold it against you.

Yours,

Samuel

~~~

First Published - April 17th, 2024