Patterns of a Bloodline

Chapter four

A stern-looking woman named 'Rasheeda Ahmad, Activist,' spoke fervently into a reporter's microphone on the television screen. She was discussing a disturbing trend: a fourth child within three months had gone missing in the projects. Rasheeda passionately voiced her belief that the sudden disappearances of poor black children were not coincidental, given their striking similarity to other missing children cases in the city.

Ree listened attentively to Rasheeda's proposal to aid a community that appeared to have been neglected. She was grateful that she had left the projects before the suspected kidnappings occurred. Her children were safe, but their friends who were left behind might not be, a thought that was still very unsettling.

Another possibility was that the kidnappers were prowling the city for more vulnerable children. Ree considered the tranquility of her neighborhood. The houses were widely spaced, with only a few on each block. Outdoor activity was rare, except during the holidays. If a kidnapper targeted their area, it was likely there would be no witnesses. This chilling thought led Ree to switch off the TV.

She covered her mouth with one hand, taking a moment to clear her mind of the disturbing thought she just had. Suddenly, a ring at the doorbell scared her, causing her to clutch her chest and chuckle at her reaction. Rising from the sofa, she went to answer the door.

Michael stood at the door, holding her groceries. Running this errand for Junie's mom was his favorite task. Helping Junie's family brought humility to Michael, and it was therapeutic. It reminded him of all the times he had helped his mother.

Ree was always happy to see Michael. She was grateful for him. He had improved her family's life, and in her eyes, he treated Junie like a queen.

Ree opened the door so that he could put down the groceries. Once his hands were free, they hugged, and Ree laughed excitedly. Michael cherished how she was always delighted to see him. When they let go of each other, Ree glanced outside the door before closing it. He understood that she was looking for Junie.

"Don't tell me she stayed home again. I can't get her to come and see me for nothing." Ree said as she stepped away from the door.

Junie had yet to share the news with her mother. Despite an improving relationship, she found it challenging to disclose personal matters. She had confided in Michael multiple times about her mother's potential for bitterness and judgment, yet Michael had never seen Ree in this light.

As he started assisting Ree with the groceries, he understood that he needed to share the news with her. It was a month since their decision to part ways, a secret they had kept from everyone. Though he had initially shared some details with Antonio, Michael had remained silent since making their breakup official.

Ree was the only motherly figure in his life, the sole guardian he had. He felt an internal nudge telling him that Ree wasn't as quick to criticize as Junie had suggested. After all, she had firmly expressed her love for him as if he were her own son.

After neatly stacking the canned goods in the cupboard, Michael turned and leaned against the counter. Ree was still filling the freezer, engrossed in a conversation Michael hadn't been following. When an appropriate moment arose, he delivered his news.

"Junie got her own place." He said.

Ree halted, looked back towards Michael and cocked her head slightly. She tossed the item she had in the freezer and closed the door. She faced Michael, breathed in and out.

"That's why I haven't seen her?" Ree asked

Michael nodded, "I-" he gave his next sentence some thought.

"I knew it. I mean... I suspected," she sighed. "Were you just unhappy? Never mind, don't answer that. Well, where is she? Is she avoiding me because she's embarrassed? What?" She seemed scattered and deeply worried.

Michael shrugged, "She just needed some time alone. She hardly spoke to me before she left."

Ree sighed again, this time more dramatically. She clasped her hands together, bringing them to her chin, "If she wanted my help, she would've asked me. It's like she trusts me, but she doesn't. I don't know." Ree paused before asking, "How are you feeling about it?"

"Guilty."

Ree's face tightened with confusion, "Guilty? Why?"

"I wasn't faithful to Junie. And I hate that I'm even telling you that. You trusted me with your daughter and I was reckless. I'm sorry, ma." These words came out of Michael's mouth with ease.

Ree's mouth twitched in a weak attempt at a smile. She fell silent, unsure of what to say to Michael. She had always seen him as the ideal man, someone every woman dreamt of being with. It was startling to discover that he wasn't, and that her daughter was the one suffering because of it.

However, Michael, based on what Ree had gathered about him, seemed ill-equipped to handle life's stresses. It appeared to her that his affection for Junie was stronger than he admitted, and it was possibly a sentiment he wasn't prepared to confront.

Michael lowered his head, "She was guessing for a while, until yesterday, when I told her."

Ree had to say something.

"If you told me you got cheated on, I'd be writing you a book right now," Ree said, looking at him. "Truth is, I'm disappointed. I guess my first question should've been, 'Is Junie okay?'"

"She won't talk to me, so I can only assume she's not okay. I realize that my actions were wrong and I don't deserve her. I'm glad she's becoming more independent and figuring things out without me. But, I do love her."

"So then, why'd you do it?" Ree asked seriously.

"I have no excuse," Michael replied.

"Not an excuse, but a reason," Ree persisted, keeping her gaze firmly on him.

Michael looked embarrassed. "There was no good reason."

"So you just did it, for no good reason?" Ree pressed. "I'm asking for honesty, from you and for yourself. If you love her so much, why did you do it? Why would you want to hurt her?"

Michael couldn't meet Ree's gaze any longer. With his eyes averted, he muttered, "I didn't mean to."

"It must have been the last thing on your mind," Ree concluded.

"Over the past few months, Junie and I have been a little rocky. There were moments when things were going well, and the next she was giving me a long list of things I needed to improve. Sometimes, her expectations of me were too high. I didn't know how to satisfy her," Michael confessed.

"Then why not break up with her? Why cheat? Why create that kind of mistrust in your relationship? That's a hard blow to recover from."

Michael considered her questions, then responded, "I had this person I wanted to work things out with... but how can I do that when I've never learned how? What if it's clear she wants someone who's the opposite of me?"

"Or maybe she just wanted you to try," Ree suggested a new perspective for Michael. "Yeah, it's something you never learned, but your brother is married with kids. I'm sure he has some useful tips on relationships."

"Antonio's a lot different though. He's always had more discipline, he was always more sure of himself. Me, in some ways, I'm more like my dad." In an unexpected moment of self-reflection, Michael found himself bearing the brunt of his words.

The words, so raw and honest, seemed to gush from the depths of his heart, catching him entirely off guard. The intensity of his own emotions stopped him in his tracks, the sheer weight of the sentiments expressed in his words leaving him momentarily speechless.

Immediately, Michael realized that his infidelity was also an attempt to regain control, a power grab. Feeling powerless in his relationship with Junie, he sought dominance elsewhere. Junie's requests - addressing flaws he had tried to hide - were difficult for him to handle. Unable to cope, he strayed to be with women who saw him as flawless, just as Junie once had.