The Termites of Birnam Wood

At the dawn of time, before the sun set in noon, before the moon arose at night, a smegmite was born. The day I were birthed, was the day the devil lived in fear. Ive always been a bit of loner, but that's where I thrive, alone, in the darkness. This is a story of love, adventure, and friendship. It takes place eons ago, eons before the rise of dinosaurs. There I lay, upon my humble abode, pondering to myself. In a state a boredom I arose and made my way to Birnam wood. At these very woods I happen to notice a large family of termites, they were stupendous, absolutely gob smacking amazing. I watched as they ravaged through trees in a matter of seconds. Millions of them eating the wood, devouring every last splinter. At this moment, I said, "Bah! Eureka!", similar to a light bulb switching on, an idea popped up in my mind. I rushed home and grabbed a chunk of wood and dropped my pants. I perfectly replicated mine phallus and ball on the wood, imitating to the last detail. With spring in my step, or perhaps swank in my stride, I made my way back to Birnam wood. Upon finding the termites I tossed the sculpture. They dissolved through it in a less than 1 second. From this day forwards, everyday I would carve a replica of my phallus and ball in wood and feed the termites every day. I did this practice for two centuries, every day. And after 2 centuries, it was finally time. I knew that I was put on this planet to complete this very task. So I waded to the termites of Birnam wood, and dropped my very pantaloons. They saw it, for them it was just another day of eating my sculpture. So millions of them rushed towards me like a swarm. Pure agony, bliss, and euphoria. The three words fitting of the description of feeling. Though words cannot describe it, I achieved inner peace. The pain were excruciating, but the joy were immense. Those 2 centuries lead up to this very second. One second, which is the highest point I will ever reach. I recommend all of you to give this a go if youre feeling bored or want to ascend. Let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks.