THE BLUE NEVER MEANT FOR ANYONE

THE DAY OF YOUR ARRIVAL

march 22 ,2023
the school filled with laughter of students during recess playing with their friends while i stood in a corner just talking to myself i see the blue of the youth playing and then glance at mine and think to myself

is my blue still clear or alive or is it just happens that i dont have one meant for myself

i look up at the blue sky i see the clouds forming up two hands being held together and both of them having a best friend charm written on their bracelet i just bit my tongue and said

Damn even the clouds are mocking me oh well not like i am any better

i glance at the playground one more time before entering the classroom to see my classmates waiting for me 

aori can you please write my work i m just so tired and i couldnt get even a wink of sleep please write my work

my "friend " anna said with a smile and fake sad tone i took the notebook and did her work and didnt complained as i knew ...............you dont hold power but your classmates do so just shut up and do it otherwise no one will wana look at your face 
just then another one of my "friend" came and asked me if i could write their work too
i denied as i was already so tired and i just did anna'swork 
the girl glares at me and says
damn never knew how selfish you were just dont say a word i shouldnt have helped you yesterday nor should i have shared that textbook if i knew thats how you repay me

i gulped in regret and guilt and did her work as i felt myself crying but no water came out i felt empty and drained yet i put on the same sweet poisnous smile like everyday and make everyone laugh to just fit in 

soon the teacher enters the classroom and says

class set down we got a new classmate welcome your new friend here....eri you can come in now 

just then i see a really beautiful girl enter the classroom she had long black hair neatly tied with a purple scrunchie with polka dots and she had thin eyebrows and had skin as pale and white as snow in such a beautiful way i offer her my seat but the teacher sets her with one of my classsmate i introduced myself

hey im aori nice to meetcha whats your name?
i sked her in a polite and warm manner to help her fit in 

my names eri nice to meet you too 
she says shaking my hand and then i let the stupid question slip out again after a while
do you watch anime or anything like that

i wanted to kms after asking that question but then she replied

yeah i do you also watch anime 
she asked in a slightly excited tone i nodded and said
my favourite is attack on titan and jujutsu kaisen 
what about yours
i asked with a smile and she replied

i also love jjk 

i felt excitement inside me and a fire burning making my cold body warm and i said to her
thats it we are besties from now on come here 

i said as i set her bag and help her move to my desk 

do i really have a blue so someone like that did existed then so this is what they call huh a true friendship  ,if this is it then i never want it to end i want it to continue for ever and ever  

i squealed as i was lying in my bed and thinking about today 
even if its a dream i wish i never wake up i would be grateful if im stuck in this nightmare