In sweetness | Tayvis

02

Taylor sat at the dinner table with Joe, for a long time she had debated how and when to tell him. But soon it would become inevitable.
Her heart was beating fast in her chest , 13 weeks along , to the day.

Her eyes were focussed on Joe as he ate his baked potatoe, usually Taylor would have eaten a lot faster than today , today she kept on pushing around the food on her plate , her stomach twisting and turning at the mere thought of eating a food she usually would have devoured. It is making her crazy , the baby won't even let her have food.

"Is everything all right love? You seem distracted." Joe said , his gaze narrowed on Taylor's full plate and Taylor nodded

"Yeah just fine don't worry." she muttered under her breath , taking a deliberately long sip of water to avoid the conversation.

The dinner continued , Taylor was hoping she would be able to keep the food down she just consumed and her boyfriend was putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

Taylor really wanted to tell him , she wanted him to be the first to know , share her excitement and bring a smile on his face. But somehow the words couldn't escape her lips.

It was like a curse , the happiness was only allowed to her. She wasn't allowed to share it. She wrote it in songs , she write it in poems , she imagined the conversation and the played it out in her head.
But the reality was different.

Soon her baby would be moving and growing and kicking and she wouldn't be able to hide it anymore , her symptoms have begun concerning Joe and even her mom with whom she frequently talked on the phone, her mother always knew when something was off.

Without another word she got up from the dining table , making her way into the music room. She didn't even want to play , she just had to think.

She would kill for a wine , but if she did she most likely would, her unborn child. She took a deep breath as she took a glimpse at her phone.

She wanted to talk to her mom.

Tell her about all the countless problems bothering her to this day , the pregnancy. She would love to get some advice from someone who has actually been through this , not just the opened tabs on her laptop.

Outside , despite the rain hammering against the tightly shut windows , were flowers blooming , summer was approaching. Flowers seemed to give her hope during this pregnancy , but don't all fllowers die eventually?

The ivy ranking around her house wouldn't cover it for all eternity , it would fade and die and new flowers would bloom.

A constant state she has had accomplished over the last couple of weeks , her hands on her belly as if to hold the unborn baby , to assure it was alright and assure the baby it was loved and safe and wanted , no matter the thoughts its mom had.

The gentle circles she rubbed on her belly , hoping by some miracle her baby would feel the love , didn't at all soothe her worry's however it did feel oddly comforting.

She dialed her mom's contact and the tamale ringing of calling someone echoed through the empty room.

Time stood still in Taylor's universe and she waited for her mom to pick up.

"Taylor darling , it's great to hear from you." Andrea Swift said in a cheerful voice , not even assuming the news she was about to receive.

"Hey mom, can we talk?" Taylor asked nervously and she felt her heart beat speed up rapidly and her breathing getting significantly faster

"Sure sweetie, is it the nausea again? I told you you should see a doctor." The younger blondes mother rambled down and Taylor bit her lower lip

"Well kinda" Taylor said , her gaze drifting and getting caught on a photograph of her and her mother that was hung up. She always loved this photograph and she knew that deep down her mother would be exhilarated.

"Taylor sweetie , you're starting to worry me. Please tell me you're not sick." The woman stated in a definite more high pitched voice

"In a way the opposite," Taylor started before getting interrupted by her mother , usually the singer wouldn't be bothered by it but on that day her hormones were in the way

"Were you sick and you are now healthy? What was going on?" Her mothers voice echoed and Taylor rolled her eyes

"Mom , please can you let me finish , this is not easy and you're not making it any better." Taylor burst out , somehow tears were already finding their way into Taylor's eyes

"Sure." Andrea sighed and Taylor took a deep breath , she knew her mother was still on the line however she didn't hear a single word , not even a breath being taken and suddenly the silence was unbearably loud and the air around her seemed to fade away

"So uhm , turns out I'm pregnant." Taylor said the worst , it was the first time she ever spoke them out aloud and it felt as if the weight that was lifted off of her chest was replaced with a heavier one

For a couple of seconds there was a dreading silencer that even looked the room , and the house and all that Taylor has ever cared about. Dreadful long lingering silence.

"Taylor , honey , that is amazing , how far along are you? When are you due? Taylor that is amazing , my first grandchild." Andres exclaimed and her voice choked which indicated to Taylor that her mom , just like her , had tears streaming down her face.

"I'm due in early December , around the second the doctor said. I'm 13 weeks along."
Taylor breathed out , insanely relieved and thrilled that her mother didn't seem disappointed

"Wow ,I honestly didn't expect that at all. But this is amazing , how did Joe react?" her mom asked , Taylor knew her mom was trying hard to contain her excitement but her voice kept on betraying her

"I haven't , I haven't told him yet. He has had a couple of rough weeks lately and I just want him to be excited cause I am." Taylor said, the tears streaming down her face were now starting to wash off the light make up she was wearing.

"You probably should tell him soon. But how are you feeling , what are you hoping for? Boy or girl?" Andrea continued giddy and that moment gave Taylor the reassurance she needed , the grandmother to be was most likely even more thrilled than the mother to be

"I honestly feel exhausted all the time but in a good way maybe? It's hard to explain. And I just want a healthy baby. A healthy little baby that Joe will be excited about." Taylor said and she heard her mother laugh at the other end of the line

"Taylor honey , you're a terrible liar had anyone ever told you that?" Andrea laughed at her 30 year old daughter who felt like a toddler getting caught stealing a cookie from the fresh baked batch placed upon the kitchen counter , still warm and the baking tray would burn her hand

"Fine , I'm hoping for a little girl." Taylor giggled and twisted a golden curl around her ring finger

Her mother was laughing at the other end of the line and Taylor felt alot better than she did ten minutes ago. She knew she would always need her mom and she hoped she would be as good as a mom to her baby

"Taylor , you have to tell your management soon , otherwise it could lead to some serious trouble with your planning. You told me you were thinking about an album, if that's true then you really have to tell them."
Taylor's mom said in a more serious and militant voice and Taylor once again rolled her eyes.

Surely her mother was right , however she could only imagine their reactions in her head. Maybe she could just to the people in her management she is close with. Also on a personal basis

"I'll tell the people I trust , or better the people I also trust in my personal life. I have a zoom meeting with a few people in my management in a couple of days , I'll tell a few people to stay longer and tell them."
Taylor said , quickly spinning a plan in her mind and thinking of the best possible way to break the news

"That sounds like a plan , but honey , please tell Joe , and your father and brother and your friends. We all want to support you , but you have to let us in."
Andrea said , hoping her daughter would finally be able to be reasoned with and tell other people

"I will mom , I promise , but with my friends I'll wait a couple more days , I'm in my second trimester and the doctor said that everything looks good and that I don't have to be afraid of a possible miscarriage." Taylor said , repeating the words her doctor has told her a bit ago and Taylor pulled her knees up to her chest , still her hand that wasn't holding the phone was placed on her belly.