.-• Kissable Scars.. •-. (Kazuscara<3) (honestly i suck at making titles)

Recording

TW: Vomit/Forceful Vomiting (it's not super descriptive but I want to make sure y'all know), alcohol, mentions of (past) rape

~          Scaramouche POV          ~
                    -         ~•~         -

I heard a ding sound. Was it my phone? Where is Kazuha? Was it his phone?

I quickly look at the nightstand by my softly rising head. I check my phone. No notifications. I check his phone. One notification. From... Heizou? What the fuck?

I'm sure he won't mind if I look at the text, will he? It's Kazuha's fault for just leaving his phone out in the open. Also, why the hell is he conversing with Heizou?!

I try to unlock the phone. Alright, what's the most Kazuha-like password I can think of? Surely he has a complicated password...

123456. His password is 123456. God, maybe he should change that. His phone is going to get stolen one day and I doubt he'll be happy if the stealer is able to guess his password.

I go onto Heizou and his texts messages. I'm not worried about snooping around on his phone or anything. An attachment? Like a video? What kind of video did Heizou even send him??

I clicked on the video. The screen was black. Was it an audio? I raised the volume, starting from the beginning. I heard my voice.

My voice.

This couldn't be that recording, could it?

Heizou had told me he had deleted it a long time ago.

What the fuck. What did he send this to Kazuha.

I'm going to fucking kill him. I swear to fucking god I'm going to snap his tiny ass neck in half. I'm going to chop off his fucking dick.

The black screen suddenly vanished. There was me, with him. Our lips pressed together in a forceful manner. A hand running up my junior high uniform. My hands forcefully locked around him. Everything was forced. Nothing in this video was affectionate.

That was me. That was me kissing him. That was me with my hands tied around him. That was me with my eyes shut and blindfolded.

That was all me. I let this happen. This is all my fucking fault. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I deleted the video off of Kazuha's phone.

God— fuck. I'm gonna vomit. I want to vomit. I want to puke my insides out. Everywhere he touched.

I need to get up. I'm going to vomit. I'm going to vomit.

I carefully lifted my feet off my bed, onto the floor. I stood up, my body swaying. I'm sure I look like a drunken man. Maybe I should grab a drink.

I walked to the bathroom, my body growing weaker by each step. I could feel vile raising in my throat.

I entered the bathroom, lowering my head over the toilet.

Nothing came out. Nothing is coming out. Why am I not vomiting? I want to vomit.

I stuck a hand in my mouth, triggering my gag reflex. Once, nothing happened. Twice, nothing happened. Thrice, I felt liquid come from my mouth. It burned. It burned in my throat. It tasted horrible. It wasn't a lot.

"Scaramouche..?" I wiped around my head. Kazuha, standing right at the door, looking down on me. His expression was a mixture of emotions. Can I tell which ones? Disgust? Sadness? Sympathy? Anger? I don't know. Maybe it's something else. I can't think right now.

Kazuha kneeled down beside me, his hand on my back. I hated the touch. Maybe it did feel slightly less horrible when it was Kazuha, but I didn't want it. My voice is too weak to refute, though. Kazuha was just trying to help, right? Why don't I want him to help?

Kazuha's face was all scrunched up. His eyebrows pushed together, his forehead laced with wrinkles, his lips pouted. Why would he make that expression at me. Why?

I flushed the toilet, taking Kazuha's hand as he pulled me up. "Do you need some water? Are you okay?" He asked. I don't know if he got the idea that I didn't want to be touched right now, but he took his hand away from mine. Or maybe he just didn't want to touch me. Maybe I'm just hoping for the best.

"Alcohol. Please." I mumbled. I'm sure my voice sounded begging, because I really wanted some. I hate feeling like this. I hate it. I just want to stop thinking about Heizou and all the shit things in my life.

"God Scaramouche, you can't drink Alcohol. Do you even have any in this house? Anyways, it's unhealthy. Especially since you just threw up and don't seem to be in the best mental state right now." Kazuha voice was stern. Who the fuck was he to make decisions for me? I can make my own fucking decisions. I know what's fucking good for me.

"How the fuck do you know what's good for me?! I'm getting a drink." I said, storming off. He didn't stop me. I don't know why, but I thought he would. I thought he would at least try. Maybe I'm just being hypocritical, though.

"Your sister's down there." He called out. Like that'll do something. I don't give a shit what my sister says about me. Hell, she doesn't give enough shits to even say anything about my habits.

I quickly went down the flight of stairs, making my way to the kitchen. And, as Kazuha said, Raiden was there, sitting in the counter.

"Hey Kuni." She spoke, her words soft. I'm sure she heard everything up there.

"Fuck off." I stuck up the middle finger looking in the cabinets for the alcohol Raiden always bought.

"Looking for the alcohol?" She asked, "I took it, it's in my room. You shouldn't be drinking it."

"Since when did you care? Shouldn't you go be hooking up with someone by now?"

"Kill yourself you little shit." I could feel her eyes rolling, even if I couldn't see her do it. "I'm just trying to care about you, is that so bad? And what do you even need the alcohol for? Are you and your little boyfriend drinking together? Gonna follow in your big sister's footsteps?" Guess I made her angry.

"God, he's not my boyfriend. I just want some alcohol. I'm going to your room to grab it. Have a nice night fucking someone." I snapped at her, my tone harsh as it matched hers.

I headed upstairs to her room, grabbing the alcohol that was stored in her closet. She's really fucking bad at hiding things.

//-//

Words: 1085

Done with the chapter! Sorry it took so long again😭 i want to go back to the days when i had the motivation to upload every two days 😔 anyways, see yall next chapter!