A Place in This World - Taylor Swift x Fem OC

Chapter 9

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On the 8th day at the looney house (Nurse Becky tells her not to say that, but Arina finds it quite funny the way that Dr Know It All goes silent every time and everyone else in group giggles), Arina makes a friend.

She's hung out with Kaylee a lot during meals so that Arina has a person willing to eat her food and Kaylee has someone to rant to, and they sit together at group. They're not really friends though. Arina doesn't tell the girl why she's there, or about her life outside of here, or that she's a poet. Kaylee doesn't tell her about why she's there, or about her life with her older brother in foster care, or about how she wants to be a marine biologist. They mostly just sit in silence and judge others, as mean as it sounds.

Kaylee isn't her friend though.

So Arina spends most of her time feeling lonely, only truly having a smile on her face when she's talking to Nurse Becky.

Nurse Becky is nice, and when Arina wakes up in the middle of the night crying, she comforts her, telling her about her own eating disorder and how hard it was to overcome it. It's weird really. Her therapist says she's sick and her moms say she's sick and Tim says she's sick, but the only way she truly believed it was when it came from another ill person. So she cried, and she cried and cried. Over her illness, over Taylor, over her siblings, over life. It all hurts so much, and she's a little bit worried no one will ever be able to stop it.

Tim doesn't come to visit her again.

Arina is a bit worried he's mad at her for storming off until she calls his family phone instead of her moms during call time and he comes running downstairs, practically shoving his mom away as he excitedly asked her how she was doing. It was weird to hear him talk about football and school and tv while she's stuck in the place, continuing to starve herself and listening to therapists tell her she's insane, but it does bring a smile to her face that doesn't fade until that night when she's laying in her room.

Minty gum has always been her go to "meal" as it's low in calories and stops hunger. She doesn't have any in here though. When she asks the nurse if she had any, the woman just softens her eyes and points to the canteen with the reassurance that if Arina is hungry she can go get her a snack.

Arina doesn't want food though.

She wants to go home.

So after getting a bottle of water laying down in her extremely uncomfortable bed, she sits in silence, staring at the ceiling until the sound of shuffling happens and someone sits on the edge of her bed. She's a bit nervous at first, but she notices that it's just her roommate. Her roommate is a nice little boy named Henry, and he won't tell her why she's in here the first time she asks so she doesn't push him anymore. He reminds her of her little siblings and it's slightly comforting. They don't talk a lot and Henry is quiet most of the time, but he seems to have something to say now, sitting on the edge of her bed, so she focuses her attention on him.

"Do you have any books?" He whispers, gently swaying back and forth. She notices he doesn't sleep a lot, and he always seems tired, but he always smiles and is happy nonetheless. Why can't she just get over herself? This nine year old can.

Arina softly shakes her head, sitting up in bed to pull him into her lap. "No. Sorry bud. I left all my books at home. But you can read some of them...whenever my moms come and give them to me." Her mothers haven't been around a lot for visits, but they're busy with work and have a lot more to do now that she's not there to take care of the kids.

It doesn't matter though.

She can handle it all by herself.

"Then what's that?" Henry giggles and asks, pointing to the poetry book on her windowsill. It's collecting dust with how long it's been sitting there, but she just can't find herself wanting to write anything now that Doctor Know It All drills into her emotions every single day. Poetry is filled with emotions, and she just can't force herself to feel any right now.