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4th September, 2023
Today is the first day I woke up in the ward. All the nurses here seem pretty nice. Oh, before I forget, I want to say that I don't even remember myself. The nurse said I had lost memory due to surgery which according to the nurses here are brain tumour. I had been in a coma for a month. All my family didn't come to visit me or more accurately, they died. The nurse said they died in an accident while rushing to see me in hospital.
I once asked the nurse, if my family didn't come, who paid the bill for my surgery. The nurse replied, there is one boy who is believed to be your friend who already paid for your surgery plus my treatment afterwards. She also said the boy always visits me in the hospital. I don't know if I need to believe the nurse or not.
But if there is a friend who constantly visits me, why he hasn't shown up this morning? the sun almost setting down. There is no way what the nurse said to me is correct that there is a boy who always visits me-
"Hi!"
Oh my gosh, scared me. "Um, hi?"
"Thank goodness you have woken up."
Why does this boy always smile from earlier? but why is it cute?
"What if I hadn't woken up?" I ask the boy.
"You must be woken up, you are strong. Once in the kindergarten, you beat 3 boys with one punch."
Me? Beat 3 boys with one punch? I must have been a gangster in kindergarten... wait, why does he smile while talking about me? Does he like me? No way that will happen, the nurse said we're just friends... right? Talking about kindergarten, does he also go to the kindergarten or have we been friends since kindergarten? Why do I not remember his name? Should I ask? But that is so embarrassing. Erm, I think it's better to ask-
"I'm Sungho. Park Sungho. You and I have already been friends with me since kindergarten."
Ooo, Sungho are this boy's name. His name is so pretty like him. His clothes today are also drippy.
"Oh, that means we are a childhood friend right?" I ask him.
"Erm, it is not like we just met in kindergarten and no more. We go to the same elementary school, middle school and high school. Start from today, there's just one more year before we go to our dream university together." Sungho smiled while showing his perfect teeth to me.
"Oh, seems like we are close," I said.
As soon as I said that, Sungho seemed to talk to himself. I try to read what his mouth said.....wait, more than that? More than what, Sungho? We, us together? Ain't no way that's going to happen.
4th October, 2023 It has been two months since I was warded at the hospital and 1 month since I know Sungho. We were close right now. We must be together no matter what happens. Go anyway must be two of us together until other elderly patients called us a couple. But we are not a couple, we are just friends.
4th November, 2023 It has been three months since I warded. Nowadays, Sungho always brings Gypsophilia or in other words baby breath flowers for me. He said there's always one flower missing because he keeps it in his house, so when the baby's breath seems to wilt, he knows when to buy me a new flower—such, as a sweet person.
4th December, 2023 It has been four months and my brain tumour seems to getting worse time by time. I slowly didn't remember anything. The doctor said, my brain tumour is getting bigger. If I want surgery, the chances I will be alive are 50-50. After a long time of thinking, I agree to do the surgery as my final resort for me to live.
3th January. 2024 One day before my surgery begins. I'm scared, what if I wasn't alive? Sungho reassured me that I would be alive, but my heart said the other way. Sungho is always there for me when something happens to me. If I didn't come alive, what would happen to Sungho? I'm scared, I'm scared to leave Sungho because...
I liked him.
As I read the last word, my heart crumbled with each turn of the page. How could I have been so blind? How did I miss the signs, of her feelings for me? As I sat there, holding her words in my hands, I couldn't shake the feeling of regret for not being there sooner, for not realizing the connection between us. I liked her too. How could I have been so blind? How could I not have seen what was right in front of me? Maybe, just maybe, there was still time to make things right, to tell her how I felt before it was too late.
