the way i loved you

saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

I take the long way home
I ask the traffic lights if it'll be alright
They say, "I don't know,"

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Yoko's POV:

I pulled back slowly, but I didn't move my face away. I stared at her still closed eyes and my heart melts at the sight before me. She looks so beautiful with her eyes closed, her brows were relaxed, and the glow from the moonlight was bathing her face, making her look like a Goddess. I wanted to kiss her again, but the rational side of me shrugged the idea off.

A pang of guilt seeped through my body. We shouldn't be doing this. I am still with Engfa, with or without label, I am still with her. I should head back and run away from her, but I couldn't. My feet won't move, my heart stood its ground overpowering my brain's protest to runaway. It was like my heart suddenly forgot the pain it felt when this woman, the one in front of me, shattered it into pieces not so long ago.

She opened her eyes once she realized that I wasn't going to kiss her again. Her eyes stared at mine with intensity, then at my lips for a moment, before looking back up again.

"Isn't this the part where you'll slap me hard in the face for kissing you?" she said with a hint of humor in her voice. She didn't kiss me again, instead, she leaned closer to me, our foreheads touching.

"Do you want to be slapped?" I asked, equalling her humor.

"Aren't you angry at me?" she asked once again, her hands went down from my cheeks to my waist, holding me there and keeping me close to her as much as she can. Her eyes went to close again, her nose touching mine.

I couldn't help but smile, reminiscing the moments that we were just like this in the past. Apparently, Faye Malisorn wasn't very good at saying sorry and admitting her wrongs. This was her way of making it up to me when I was angry at her. It's her love language.

"You're not worth my time," I said, trying so hard to sound serious.

I can see how fast her eyes snapped open upon hearing my words. I laughed loudly when she went to look at my eyes. She furrowed her brows upon hearing my laugh, slightly distancing her face to mine. But her hold on my waist remained there.

"I was joking,"

I didn't understand why it is so easy for me to be this close to her after everything that has happened, and after everything that has been said in the past. Looks like I'm not good at keeping my promises much like her.

"I'm sorry I kissed you," she said, staring me deeply in my eyes. There's sincerity and vulnerability in her eyes, "I couldn't help it."

"You're saying sorry too often. I don't remember you uttering those words before. That made me hate you, you know,"

She pursed her lips and nodded at my words, a silent admission of my previous statement "Yeah, not one of my proudest moments," she said shyly, "Well, I was sorry for kissing you despite knowing you're with Engfa," she said with a hint of bitterness in her voice.

I was speechless for a moment. The guilt that I'm feeling intensified. With label or not, I shouldn't be doing this to Engfa. But despite this realization, I did nothing about our entangled bodies and the hands on my waist. This moment just felt so right to me right now.