When German Girl, Lena Müller, and British Boy, Lando Norris fall in love and discover that life isn't always how you plan it to be. Sometimes things are harder. And sometimes things are completely unexpected.
TW List at the start of book!!!!
~ Tri...
I couldn't cope. I walked out of our apartment. I couldn't be a good mother or a good wife. I couldn't. I could hear Mirabella crying and Lando trying to comfort her. I just couldn't. I was just roaming the streets of Monaco. I was just going to go for a walk but when I saw the mountain I threw myself off. I had to do it again. I made my way up to the viewpoint. No one would be up there at this time of night. I knew my asthma was bad at that moment but I still grabbed some cigarettes before I went up there. I needed an escape. I must have been up there for 2 hours before I felt Lando sit next to me with Mirabella in some sort of carrier for his body.
"Lena. Come home. Mira hasn't stopped crying for the last like 2 hours" he said. The only reason Mirabella wasn't crying was because he actually got her to sleep.
"I can't... she needs a stable parent. One that isn't constantly depressed" I said. I shuffled a bit so I wasn't right next to him and he didn't close the gap. He knew I needed the space.
"Lena, Mirabella doesn't need perfect parents, she needs us. And we're here for her, together. We can get through this, I promise" he said.
"I can't... she deserves a better mother than me..." I said
"Lena, she has a great mother. She has you. And that's all she needs" he said.
"You know I'm the worst mother in the world. she hates me and we both know it" I said. I kept moving further and further from him.
"Lena, you're not the worst mother in the world. You're strong, resilient, and you love Mirabella more than anything" he said
"but she doesn't love me... I'm literally the worst mother ever... I'm doing everything wrong and I know it..." I said
"Yeah, but you're also doing a lot of things right. You're trying your best, and that's all anyone can ask for. You're a great mother, Lena, and Mirabella loves you" he said
"I'm not... I'm really not..." I said as I dangled my legs over the edge. I was going to do it.
"Lena, please don't do this to yourself. You're beautiful, intelligent, and strong. You've been through so much, and you're still standing. Mirabella needs you, and so do I. Please, don't take your life away from us" he said
"You deserve better. you know you do... Mira deserves better too..." I said
"Lena, please don't talk like that. You're wrong" he said
"I'm not wrong... I am literally the worst wife and mother ever and I don't deserve this life at all..." I said while standing up at the edge. I was going to do it but then I heard crying. Mirabella's cries. Cries for me. Cries for her mama. My brain clicked in that moment. I knew the cry was for me. I turned around to go to her but I slipped. I saw my life flash before my eyes. I grabbed onto the edge with both hands and I heard Lando.
"Lena!!! No!!!" He screamed. He came to the edge and saw me dangling with tears in my eyes. I knew he couldn't save me with Mirabella in the carrier. He would just topple over with me.
"It's okay, Lan... Mira needs you" I said.
"No, Lena!!! I won't let you go!!!" He said. He knew himself that he was going to topple over if he bent down to hold onto me.
"Lan, it's okay" I said.
"It's not okay!!!" He said with tears streaming down his face. I knew Lando wasn't going to leave until he saved me so I helped him. He would be a complete mess else.
"I can grip onto the edge for a bit but not for long... you're just gonna have to put Mira down on the grass for now..." I said. Lando pulled our baby out of the carrier and laid her on the grass. Luckily she wasn't a baby who would roll yet or crawl so we knew she was safe. All we would have to hear were her cries. He started to pull me up. I guess the times he went to work out were worth it. He kept pulling me up. I used my feet to climb up the side and he finally pulled me up into his arms.
"You okay, baby?" He said while holding me in his arms.
"Physically: yes. Mentally: fuck no" I said. We got up and went over to Mirabella. I picked her up and she instantly stopped crying. That 2 hour crying session was over. "She... she stopped crying..." I said. I couldn't believe it.
"It's because she loves you. She loves you more than anything and this just proves it. She definitely thinks you're the best mama for her" he said. I held our baby close. I pressed my forehead gently against hers and whispered.
"I'm never scaring you like that again, Mira... mama's not going anywhere ever again..." I said. I wiped a few tears and we went back to Lando's car. His custom 3 seater McLaren that MTC specifically made for him when we announced that I was pregnant. It was either that custom McLaren or a weird ass BMW. I think we all knew that he was gonna have that custom McLaren built. I woke up back in our bed. Back with Mirabella sleeping in her crib next to us. Back with Lando's arms around me.
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