Ich Liebe Dich, Lena ~ pt 2

☆ Thirty ☆

Lando gave me his card the next day so I could go shopping for baby clothes. I was just addicted to buying clothes for Mirabella. Lando went to do something for a bit so I was left with Mirabella to look at clothes. I don't know how I managed to but I got to take Daxie in the shop with me which was nice. She was like a therapy dog for me at that time so it was quite nice just to have her there even if my attention wasn't fully on her. I think Daxie understood though. She's a pretty smart dog. I had already filled the cart with clothes but I just couldn't stop buying them and if I already had Lando's card then it wouldn't matter how much I spent. Lando met me in the store and I punched him. I didn't recognise him. He was BLONDE.

"Ouch! What the hell, Lena? That hurt!" He said. He saw the realisation on my face when I realised that it was him. I was in shock.

"I don't know if I love it or hate it" I said while putting my hands through his curls.

"Well, which is it? Do you love it or hate it?" He said while wrapping his arms around my waist. I looked at him for a bit. It did look good to be honest.

"well... you're matching with me now. it's gonna take lots of getting used to but I'm gonna go with... love it" I said. He laughed and pressed a kiss on my head. I had Mirabella in one of those massive blankets that you wrap around you to hold your baby to you so you don't have to carry them. It always worked well for walking around the house so I figured it would work for shopping. She was fast asleep. "I've nearly spent €200..." I said while pointing to the cart full of clothes.

"on baby clothes? You're a walking disaster, Lena. But I love you just the way you are" he said before placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"I needed that..." I said. I really did. After the day I had before I needed a kiss. I needed a million kisses.

"Well, you've got me. And Mirabella. And now, this blonde mop too. So, if you ever need a kiss or a hug, or even just someone to listen, I'll always be here for you, Lena" he said. That was exactly what I needed. We went back home after my shopping spree of baby clothes and after a quick stop at Starbucks to get Daxie a puppuccino and we sat down on the couch. "I've got a surprise for you" he said while revealing a box. When was this guy gonna stop buying me stuff? I opened the box and it was another necklace with his LN logo engraved on it but this time it was a locket in the shape of a heart. I opened it and nearly cried. It was a picture of Mirabella in the white fluffy bear onesie I got her when she was born. I actually bought a new onesie just like it because she had grown out of the last one. It was like the third necklace I was going to wear every single day of my life. I looked at Lando who was cuddling Mirabella and I had to be honest. The night before/the night of me trying to kill myself again; we went home and fell asleep and during the night I went and cut myself. I had to be honest with Lando.

"Lan... um... don't let Mira see but..." I said as I pulled up my sleeve. It was only a few but they were just going to add to the thousands of scars already on my arms.

"Oh, darling, no... did you do this last night?" He said. I nodded. "Baby, you should have woken me up... we could have talked and I could have stopped you from doing that" he said. I looked at him with teary eyes. Every time I tried to heal I just ended up running back to relapse.

"I didn't want to disturb you just because I was gonna relapse so I did it anyway... I'm sorry... I know I said I wouldn't do it again..." I said through my sniffles as I tried to hold back my tears.

"It's okay, love. I'm not mad at you. We'll get through this together, okay?" He said. I nodded as he put his free hand on mine and rubbed his thumb back and forth on it. He looked at me again and saw how bad I was mentally. "What do you need, love?" He said.