YOU NEVER KNOW

Your not alone

People always think that you're okay when in reality you may not be. Me personally people always think I am a confidant individual who knows what she wants and has her life planned out to where she wants it. People always say that I am doing amazing and wonder how I am always so strong and how I always have a smile on my face, but in reality I am crumbling inside and wondering if I'm gonna make the next day. People don't really see how I am really feeling because I hide it all. People say go and get help by talking to someone but its hard to open up to someone as specially when you feel like your gonna get judged for whatever you say or you feel like people are gonna think your trying to get attention. Professional ignore mental health and they only care when that person is gone, because they know they have failed to support the person in need and they will only care when someone else brings it to their attention that they didn't help. I always think will anyone actually care about me even when I'm gone and to be honest, but that all changed when I started talking to an amazing man who makes me smile from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. Yes I do have my moments of where I am struggling and I do struggle bad and sometimes I can't open up but most of the time I think of him and I just think WOW how am I so lucky to have such a supportive man there through the good and bad times. He has seen me at my best and also at my worst but he will always stick by my side no matter what and for that I think i have found my one and only and someone i am willing to love forever. I am hoping that with his love and support my mental health will get better and that goes for everyone, if you find that special person you really connect with weather it is a lover, friend or a family member that you are close to, you could find that it Will get better in time. Basically what I'm trying to say is that even the perfect of people could be suffering on the inside so you are not alone and to please be kind to everyone as you never know what they are going through or weather that could be the last time that anyone will see that person as you could be their last reason to end it all.

Just when I thought it was all getting better I cracked again I never thought it would happen but it did everything just got on top of me and I couldn't handle it. I had my partner there to support me but I felt like I was all alone, like nobody wanted me here. I wish that I could just get rid of my mental health and be a better and happier person but it's always easier said than done. I am hoping that I don't relapse again and if I do, I know that I have my partner there to help and support me without judgement and that he will always care for me no matter what thats why I truly love this man with all my heart and never want to loose him as I really don't know where I would be without him. Mental health can happen at any moment like I could be sat there laughing and playing games with my partner and then the next I will start overthinking and then just want to crawl up into a ball and cry. It is never all the time but then again it can be most of the time, I never have warnings when I am gonna be sad it just happens and sometimes I can never give a reason to why I'm sad as I don't even know sometimes. But in time it will get better. Mental health can have be caused by past trauma from when you was younger or if you have been mistreated by other people in the past. Most of my trauma is by ex relationships that I have been in but I have not let that stop me from finding my right person, and I have found my right person the one I want for life.