The Tortured Villains Society

#TTVS 1

"What's the baddest thing you've done in your life?" 

Natigilan siya sa pambungad na tanong ko. Tilad ba sa lahat ng mga tanong na napag-praktisan niyang sagutin, ito ang kaisa-isang hindi niya inaasahan. I can't really blame him, not many people pass this interview.

Actually, no one has ever passed this interview before. They're lucky to even get past the screening process in the first place.

Nang hindi siya sumagot, agad akong nag-angat ng tingin at tinitigan siya nang masama.

Bingi ba 'to?

"It's a simple question. And no, I'm not even talking about cheating on a test or cutting the line---even though those are pretty mean things to do in a fucked up society filled with hypocrites," I elaborated, praying to whatever supervillain that he gets the point. "Naiintindihan mo ba ako?"

Napayuko lang siya at nanginginig na tinitigan ang mesa na para bang lilitaw na rito ang sagot. This entire room nullifies everyone's superpowers kaya imposibleng gamitin niya ang kanyang abilidad para makapandaya.

"P-P-Pwede pong pakiulit ang tanong?"

Oh, for fuck's sake!

I slammed his application form on the table between us, causing the single light bulb to sway in the darkness. I'm not usually the type to be this impatient, but there's this suicide method I wanted to try and the train will leave in half an hour. Hindi ako marunong lumipad at wala akong inhuman speed, kaya't wala akong oras makipagtitigan sa isang 'to.

"Ngayon pa lang, gusto ko nang linawin na hindi ito ang tamang lugar para sa mga katulad mo."

"K-Katulad ko?"

"Katulad mong lampa, takot mahusgahan, balat-sibuyas, walang kumpiyansa sa sarili, bait-baitan, plastik, teacher's pet, people pleaser, iyakin, pabuhat sa groupwork, bida-bida, law-abiding citizen, nagbabayad ng tax at bills on time, nagre-rescue ng mga pusa sa puno, natutulog nang maaga, may savior complex, nagkakape sa gabi, uto-uto, at pangit ang taste sa mga sapatos," my eyes dropped to the hideous shoes he's wearing.

Agad siyang umiyak nang nilait ko ang sapatos niyang neon green.

I rolled my eyes and handed him some tissue. What? I'm a villain but I have manners. Pangit na nga ang sapatos, pangit pa siyang umiyak. "Not-so-friendly advice? Get lost or get a job somewhere else, kid. This organization isn't for the faint of heart."

Kahit gaano man kapaki-pakinabang ang superpower niya, hinding-hindi ko dudungisan ang reputasyon ng samahan namin. That's the reason why I am so hands on with this application process in the first place! Kakaupo ko lang sa posisyon kaya't kailangan ko pang magpabango ng pangalan.

Because in order for anyone to qualify at our level, they need to think more sinister, more dramatic, and more... what's that word I'm looking for?

Villainous!

Sa huli, bahag ang buntot niyang tumayo at kinuha ang application form. Inayos niya ang kanyang salamin at nanginginig na namalaan, "S-Salamat pa rin po sa pagkakataon, S-Sir...?"

I smiled. Silly me! Nakalimutan ko nga palang magpakilala. I sometimes forget that not everyone knows who I am.

But someday, I'll make sure my name will be marked in history as the most notorious villain of this decade.

"I'm Deangelo, the Chairman of The Tortured Villains Society."

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