Chocolate Kisses

Sweet Nothings

Her legs were at my sides, swaying slightly. She was sitting in front of me after all. I kept my hands at her waist, my fore finger touching her hips. I was still holding back, afraid. She was breathing quite hard. Who could blame her? I was stealing most of her air. I felt the need for it, especially if I was to do this. I wondered if she was as afraid as me, or if her heart was as fast as mine. She smelled like the chocolates I had given her.

"Ralph?" She called.

Fuck.

I couldn't wait anymore. I kissed her, barely brushing my lips over hers. It was such a simple act, but it felt as if there was an explosion in my chest. Her lips were cold, I felt it. But they were soft. I kissed her again, by instinct, her mouth was slightly open, probably by the shock of it all.

 And that's when I felt her hands. They grabbed my shirt, her fingers curled up in the fabric. Maybe she was scared?I wanted to pull back to make sure. But I couldn't. I kissed her again, slowly. I could taste chocolate, as if it had just melted in her mouth. She tasted sweet.

Fuck.

My hands had gotten tighter at her sides. Maybe I was trying to control myself? I didn't know. Because it didn't help. I kissed her again and again. My pulse was at my palms, I could feel her breathe through my mouth. I felt like flying, my whole world was spinning. There was an eruption of electricity from her hands, to my shirt, and all over my chest.

Kissing was easier when I didn't think about it. I smiled like an idiot.

How did we get here again? Ah. Right. It started with a question.

"How long will Jay and Kim be there?" She asked.

"What?" I turned to her.

"You know... that service thingy."

"Ah." I said, shrugging. "I have no idea."

She crossed her arms, letting her feet sway a few meters above the ground. She was sitting at the edge of a terrace. I was a little afraid she might fall over. But then again, it was night time and there was hardly a gush of wind. No wind would make her fall over. I kept my distance of course. Far enough, but near enough to catch her if she did tip over.

That's what friends do right? Be there for each other?

And besides... we're alone. I didn't want to kind of freak her out about that. Or maybe it was just me being self-conscious.

"You might fall over, you know." I said.

"I might die waiting for them."

"Don't say that, neko-chan."

"Psh." She said, looking at her feet.

She was wearing those high-cut rubber shoes again. They were probably her favourite. And that violet jacket that had golden zippers and more pockets that I could count. She looked perfect.

I missed her. She surprised us by coming to my university without any of us knowing. I have never smiled so much in my life.

"Psh." I said back.

It was a joke of ours. I remember. All of those late evenings of texting. I remember every bit of it. I call her neko-chan—a Japanese word for cat—because there was a time when I couldn't stop calling her cute. She always said that she didn't like it when I did. I'd laugh of course... although she couldn't see.

I called her cute because I couldn't muster up the courage to call her beautiful yet. And that was what she was, beautiful. The way her dimple showed when she smiled, the way her hair fell just at the ends of her ears, the way she laughed, and the way she sang. Beautiful. Damn. I'm such an idiot for falling this hard.