we didn't plan it that way.

chapter one:: I could've saved you.

Tw: blood,death mentioned,suicide,sh?

Nobody tells you just how loud the sound of silence is.At the moment I feel like I could hear everything and nothing at the same time.

My last few days haven't been the best and honestly-I dont really care anymore.All I'm feelings is pure numbness.
My friends Henry and Liam have tried to call me a few times,but I didn't pick up.

The last time I went to school was a week ago.Me and my bestfriend Jake had a big fight that day,and Godamn.
If I knew how much pain I made him feel,then I would've stopped.
I even would've stopped bullying the stupid music freaks if thats what he wanted.

But its too late now anyways.I made Jake feel miserable,and I realized it too late.
Maybe Hailey made him feel better.
I'm pissed.But not at Jake or the music freaks.I'm pissed and dissapointed at myself because it was my fault.
I've been an asshole and I ignored his feelings completly.

I didn't even turn up to his singing competition.
The only chance I had,and I wasted it.

The room feels empty,suffocatingly silent.Every corner echoes with memories, the laughter,the shared secrets,and the warmth of two people that once were so close to eachother.Me and Jake.

But now, there's only emptiness, a void that seems impossible to fill.

I'm sitting here,clutching a photograph in my trembling hands.I'm trying hard not to cry,and thats barely possible.It's as if the world has lost its color, drained of all vibrancy, leaving behind only shades of gray.

My best friend for years is gone.The realization crashes over me and hits like a brick.How could this happen? We were supposed to be inseparable, destined to navigate life's twists and turns together.

But now, there's only emptiness where Jake used to be. The silence is killing me slowly on the inside.

Grief grips my heart until I can hardly breathe. Memories flood my mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of what once was and what will never be again.

I wish I could turn back time, rewrite the cruel twist of fate that tore Jake away from this world.

But all I can do now is grieve for the loss of a soul so dear to myself.The pain is raw, consuming me from the inside out, leaving me to feel hollow and lost in a world that suddenly feels so unfamiliar.

The worst part of this is.
I could've saved him.

Jake left me a goodbye letter,which I found the evening after he commited.
After I found it, all I did was cry,
and I dont usually cry.

The letter he left made me cry so badly,that I almost choked while reading it for the first time.

I just wish I could've done something.

The worse part is that before he left,we Bad a fight.My jealousy ruined everything.I was raging at Hailey and her dumb club,and didnt realize that my bestfriend was suffering.The bullying got worse,and I didnt realize.