Just a middle school love

why am I like this..

!! NAMES IN THIS BOOK ARE COMPLETELY MADE UP , SO IS THIS STORY. !!

I've never been able to understand how my feelings work. 

I could never figure out if I like this boy or not , especially this one. 

I'm Ana, im not popular but im just very well known , I know everyone in my school , I could name all of them for you if you'd like. Everyone at this school knows me just like I know them , their names , hobbies , im a very easy person to talk to. Another reason I don't get why some people like to talk about me. 

For instance , in 1st quarter this girl named Kat was talking about me , right to my friends face. " She's ugly , I don't like the way she dresses , eats , talks and generally looks. " I confronted her about it and she ran away but that's not what this is about. 

This is about my feelings. Right now I'm in my 2nd quarter of 7th grade. I've had this massive crush on a 8th grader. I play volleyball with him in my after school program. His names Rogelio. He's good at volleyball but also not lol. 

He has this cute curly hair , its grown out too. I really hope he doesn't get a haircut , if he does I would cry. He looks so good with his curly hair. He has these cutie brown eyes that is always watching everything and everywhere. He's so nosy and has the typical Mexican nose. He also has these plum thin lips. 

In volleyball he's good at bumping , but not serving or setting , only bumping. It kind of makes me mad because he never serves it or sets it the way its supposed to be going. Sadly I have this bad feeling that he likes my friend mailei. They're always passing the ball to each other and making fun of each other in a flirty way. Me and Mailei just met , we aren't really that close. We met in 1st quarter in volleyball. She's nice and funny. She's really pretty too. She's African American and Asian. She has these freckles all over her under eyes and nose too. This cute puffy curly hair. 

I don't have any of that. I have big eyes , a small nose and medium sized lips. I don't have freckles , or curly hair. Instead im stuck with this ugly wavy hair. I wish I had straight hair or curly hair. I hate my wavy hair. Nobody has it. They only have straight hair or curly. 

During volleyball their always laughing and talking to each other. So , I asked. 

*Text*

" mailei " - Me

" yes? " 

" do you like rogelio "

"..maybe a tiny bit , not a lot though. "

" oh ok "

" why ? " 

" oh its nothing " 

" ok " 

She liked him. I couldn't do that to her.. We may not know each other that much but I cannot do that to her. She likes him , and so do I. I am not gonna fight somebody over a boy. Diary I have tried so hard to not like him anymore but I can't. His voice is so soothing , his hair is so cute , his eyes are so seducing , him in general is just everything. I can't just stop liking him. But I did. I forgot about him. Instead I started liking this other 8th grader. 

his name was Julio. He has straight hair , braces , and he was also Mexican. He has this German nose. That was my favorite feature. I thought he was so cute. I had forgotten all about rogelio because I was focused on Julio. Then my trip to Australia came. 

The whole trip I thought I was missing Julio , but I was missing rogelio. My brain missed Julio , but my heart knew I missed rogelio. That trip to Australia helped me realize rogelio was the one I loved and I had to tell Mailei. The next day after I can back from Australia I told her straight up

" Mailei do you still like rogelio " I asked her " No why " Oh goodness gracious that really soothes my brain " oh its kind of because I like him " I said. She stayed silent. " are you mad , I didn't want to tell you because I thought you'd get mad that I like the boy you liked and that you wouldn't wanna be friends anymore because you like rogelio. I liked him for a while and didn't wanna tell you because you liked him too. " I said really fast. 

" oh , you can have him. he's a ugly rat "  I stood there and said nothing because that ' ugly rat ' was the boy I liked. Over time I liked him more and more. Then came 3rd quarter. The best quarter of my whole life.