ℋ𝒾𝓈 ℳ𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓀𝒶

His Malika {4}

Monday 17th April 2020

unedited*

" Allah beddun dama*" The Aunty said to my mother, but it was directed at me. My mother answered her, nonetheless. The Aunty whose name I don't know said she'll take her leave then taking the hands of her not more than 4year old daughter. I made a mental note to ask my mother who she is.

I apologized to her, and the coldness is gone only replaced to be replaced with hurt. She said I broke the promise I made to her, but I never made any promises but let's leave at that.

I've been in this hospital for I think two or three days now and I can't wait to be discharged, I can easily leave now but my Naana is already upset as it is. I don't wish to upset her further.

I was brought here Saturday and today is Monday. So, for the past two to three days I've seen so many people I've lost count, from relatives to friends. I don't even know who let them in here, don't get me wrong I love my friends, but I can't say the same for other people.

All of my siblings came to check up on me except one person. The person I wanted to see the most-my support system and my favorite brother, he's just the best honestly-I see him literally almost every day because I'm always at his house which is so beautiful. And his amazing wife my one and only sister-in-law for now.

I made yet another mental note to ask Naana about him. Which brings me to how they all have been acting weird and suspicious lately-ever since I regained consciousness- and have been coming in and out of this hospital like they live here, it's so crazy. I'm just going to ask her now

"Naana..." she's being doing this a lot lately "Naana..."I called out to her again. Not getting a response I tell her name while shaking her gently "Naana..." she let out a short yelp at the sudden unexpected shake. She's zoning out again

"What's wrong, Noor are you okay? "I feel like she doesn't know what she's saying but I answered her in affirmative anyways. I don't think I can ask her what I initially wanted she doesn't seem to be in her height state of mind

" Are you okay Naana, is this about me? Or daddy? Or is it about Ummi? Or my siblings?" My stepmom can be a nuisance when she wants to and don't get me wrong, we live peacefully with fights here and there but once in a while there are fights.

My stepmother is jealous of my mother, and she has this whole bitterness she tries her best to suppress but clearly suppressing feelings isn't going to work she has to let everything out in order for her to feel relieved and better. Which will be better for herself and the rest of us.

""nothing is wrong with me Noor, just...just rest and have trust in Allah for surely, he is the best of planners"

"if you say so" i replied putting my head back on the soft pillow and covering my lower body with the blanket, its quite cold if you ask me.

she's making me very confused, why will she suddenly bring that up for no reasonmaybe she has a reason, whatever the reason maybe She's hiding it from me and i don't like itbut seeing as she wasn't ready to tell me or didn't want me to know at all.I'll find out soon enough it's not a big deal.

but i can't get rid of the feeling that something bad is about to or has happened i mean... judging from the kind of family i havemaybe they had said or did something to upset her which is clearly getting to her. some of them never liked her in the first place and trust me it's always the unimportant ones that feel they are on top of the world.

thinking back, I'm surprised none of them came to "see me" because I'm in a "hospital bed sick and fragile" i think they all hate me because quote on quote "I'm flaunting my beauty to the world instead of me to get married and cook for my husband" like everything is just about marriage to them.

and I mean no one asked for your input so... thinking back after my finishing of med school, my family(nuclear) threw a BBQ for me in my house and obviously they were invited and up till this day i regret inviting them because none of the congratulated me on finishing me school all they were worried about is when Malika would get married, and somehow they all feel like they have a say in  what happens in my life.

one even went ahead to arrange a meeting with her "friends widowed husband and father of three kids" and that he's the best "catch I can get with the way I flaunt myself on tv and magazines and newspapers" and that "Malika is shameless" one said her uncle is looking for a third wife, and the other one said that he friend wats her son married and she's looking for a girl, and that hopefully I'm up to her standards. like tf I am.

and that day I realized the reason why we all weren't given birth to nor did grew up in Nigeria.somehow, somewhere along the lines of that my thoughts drifted to him, and I don't even know why, I don't have feelings for that bastard anymore I went to therapy because of this man. the thought of what he did to me makes me have goosebumps and instantly sours my mood further.with the thoughts of cinnamon rolls and a hope for a better tomorrow darkness welcomes me as i slipped into oblivion.

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salam,

first, I'm really sorry for not updating earlier, this is just a filler chapter that i typed rn

second, I'm starting exams on tuesday so wish me luck.

ill try to like type up the chapters during summer break in sha Allah.

but i make no promises for an update.

muah.