living together - gongfourz -

9

today went ok, i kept on seeing taesan and the girl anytimes today though. im happy that he found someone but why does it hurt so much?

when school ended, i went to the nearest convenient store and bought some snacks cause i was running out in my bedroom.

i was picking out some gummies until i felt someone stare at me. "leehan ur here" i didnt even have to look up to know who that was.

i ignored the voice and went to the ice cream. "are you ok? you've been acting strange" he said and i walked pasted him.

i paid went to the cashier to pay for my stuff. i stood there waiting. "leehan" i felt shivers down my spine

i paid and left without even looking at him. i didnt want to breakdown in a convenient store.

as soon as leehan left, taesan sighed. how was he going to speak to him without leehan walking away? he stood infront of the register and waited for his stuff

he gave his student id to pay and the cashier looked at him "your han dongmin?" taesan nodded. the cashier removed a Guitar pick necklace from his pocket

"the boy that left told me to give this to a han dongmin." taesan took the necklace in his hands, why'd he give it back? he thought

"oh thank you" he said and walked out

i was walking back home with ice cream in my mouth then i got a message. i stopped walking and saw who it was

taesan ⛰️

why'd u give this back?
*sent a photo*

my heart felt heavy, should i respond? or should i tell him in person. i chose none. why?

respond will make me talk to him and the worst case scenario is me breaking down right infront of his eyes and telling him in person is the literal meaning.

i left him on read.

i was in my room watching my fish and checked the time. '2:43am' it read

i was starving, i didnt eat anything today and i felt nauseous. i stood up and unlocked my door, no one. i sighed in relief and went downstairs

i took some food that my mom made and put it in a lunchbox, I grabbed a few bottles of water and walked to the stairs.

I suddenly heard a door open. It was him

"your awake?" he asked and i walked to my room js to be stopped by taesan. "why r u avoiding me? did i do something?" taesan knew what happened but he asked js to confirm

i stayed quiet. i felt the grip become looser as time went by, i slowly pulled my arm away and walked into my bedroom

i closed the door and slide down it.

how am i gonna face him? i cant ignore him forever, we live in the same house.

i sighed and closed my eyes leaning my head against the door and ended up falling asleep.

"leehan are you actually ok?" jaehyun asks me as he notices my red eyes and messy hair, I didnt wanna lie to them anymore "no." i say "im really not." i say

"hyung, it was all fake. but why does it hurt so much? i dont get it, at school we were a fake couple and outside we were strangers; we know nothing about each other, but why. why did it all seem so real to me. I dont even like him like that, but why does it hurt so bad" i said between tears. jaehyun and jisung stayed quiet "w-what" i say and they were looking behind me.

fuck. I js exposed myself without even knowing. worst part is, i exposed myself infront of him.

i already know who was behind me from their faces. i did not wanna turn back

there was a momeng of silence for a few minutes before i slowly stood up. i slowly walked towards the door.

then i went faster, and faster until i was running. where? anywhere away from taesan. i ended up in the school field

i was trying to catch my breath and sat on the grass, i held my chest and laid down staring up at the sky. i just wanted the grass to bury me alive after that

now he knows how i actually feel. is that a good sign? Im not sure

i closed my eyes and just hoped, hoped this was all a dream and that i would wake up soon.

"leehan." but no, my worse nightmare happened

i opened my eyes to see taesan hovering over me. how does he always find me? "we need to talk" i sat up and stared at the ground

i saw him sit down next to me. "leehan, please talk to me" he says in a gentle voice. I hated it.

i hated how he made me feel this way, i hated how much talking to him hurt, i hated it all. I especially hated how much .. i loved him.

"leehan, please.." he says and i lift my head up meeting his eyes. "If i did anything wrong, im sorry." i felt more tears in my eyes

stop apologizing. you didnt do anything wrong

"im so sorry"

there i was, living my worst nightmare. bawling my eyes out infront of him. i hugged my knees and cried even more

it was silent for a while, all you can hear is the sounds of my sobs. worst feeling in the world.

"leehan.." i cried even more. stop, i already know what your gonna say. "im so sorry. please forgive me" i cried even more. i felt his arms wrap around me, his hand caressing my hair.

taesan please. i dont wanna fall in love with you knowing ill just get hurt all over again.

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MY HEART WAS ACHING WHILE WRITING THIS CHAPTER 💔💔💔

the ending was based on my irl experience so it made it worse for me to write ☹️