Ravish

Chapter 16

1/5/24
Delilah

It's Wednesday so, today I'm going to see Alessio in class.

Why am I so nervous? I just saw him the other day. But today feels different, like I'm meeting him for the first time after a long, excruciating break. Oh, wait. Maybe it's because he kissed me! Oh my God! Why did I let him do that? But... the kiss was electrifying. It's a scene I can't stop replaying in my head, no matter how badly I want to forget it. God, I was supposed to be rejecting him! Now I feel like my heart is going to burst! How am I supposed to face him today?

Class starts in half an hour, and all I can think about is what he's going to say when he sees me. I definitely can't dodge him now. I said I didn't want a relationship, but I didn't stop the kiss. He probably thinks he has some sort of hold over me now. What if he drags me out of class again? I seriously can't miss another lecture—especially not after what happened last time. Plus, I have work later, and I refuse to let him derail me again. I take a deep breath. Focus, girl. You've got this.

"Girl, get in! What are you staring into outer space for?" Alissa's voice snaps me back to reality. She's giving me that 'what on earth are you doing' look from inside her white Jeep.

I quickly slide into the back seat, closing the door behind me with way too much nervous energy.

"Alessio on your mind?" Alissa raises an eyebrow at me through the rearview mirror, and I swear she's reading my thoughts.

"Nope," I lie, far too quickly. My voice cracks. Great.

Cathy twists around from the passenger seat with a smirk. "Oh, please. Be for real. That date was amazing, wasn't it?"

My heart skips a beat. How does she know? I told them it was a disaster! "I'm not thinking about the date!" I shout, more defensively than I mean to.

"Sure, whatever you say," Cathy chuckles, turning back around, completely unconvinced.

...

I step into the classroom, my heart thrumming in my chest like a drum. The room feels oddly empty, even though it's already filling with students. I slide into my usual chair, as Alissa and Cathy follow behind me, chatting away about something I can't quite focus on. I set my bag down quietly, every movement slow, deliberate, like I'm trying to stretch out time.

As I glance around the lecture hall, there's no sign of him. The relief is instant, almost a physical weight lifting off my shoulders. Finally, I can just focus. No tension in the air, no awkward exchanges. I can actually sit through a class without feeling like I'm under a microscope.

I pull out my notebook, trying to tune into the conversation Alissa and Cathy are having beside me, but my mind won't cooperate. It keeps drifting back to him. Where is he? What is he doing? Is he angry? Disappointed?

Cathy plops down in the seat next to me, her cheerful energy practically vibrating off her. "So, where's your shadow today?" she asks with a playful nudge, glancing across the room where Alessio usually sits. "Don't tell me... you finally managed to shake him off?!"

I force a smile, but it feels weak, hollow. "Maybe."

Alissa raises an eyebrow as she takes her seat on my other side. "Maybe? That's it?" She leans in closer, lowering her voice. "Did something happen on that date that you're not telling us?"

I feel their eyes on me, probing, waiting for an explanation that I don't have. I don't even know what to tell them. Something did happen on our date. I pushed him away. Willingly. Now that it looks like he's finally giving me what I want, how do I explain the confusion swirling inside me? How do I admit that his absence is bothering me more than it should?